I am sitting here watching Dr.Phil (yeah, I just admitted that I watch the show) and I have to say that I am torn with his family that he is helping. A 15 yr old girl gave birth to a baby boy and has decided to keep the baby. Kudos to her. The father left her and started the BS story of he did not know if he was the father.... I have to say that I HATE that statement. I have experienced that stupid comment and I think that it is a COP OUT. Guys, same goes for you as it does for the girl, YOU PLAY YOU PAY!!! Some of you know my background some do not... so I will do a quick summary. I was in High School, 16 yrs old when I got pregnant, was with the guy for over 2 yrs. had my oldest when I was 17. He left me when I was 7 or 8 months pregnant (I do not remember for sure) His mother tried talking me into an abortion and late in the pregnancy to give my baby up for adoption. I obviously did neither one since I have a beautiful, healthy 8 yr old son. Granted my parents were not happy campers and early on in my pregnancy tried convincing me of the same thing his mother tried. I held strong and told them I do not agree with abortion and I would not want to deal with giving a child up for adoption. Both are decisions that someone has to live with for the rest of their lives and I was not willing to do either one. I was willing to take on my responsiblity and take care of it myself. Anyways, my sons sperm donor started denying it was his kid, which pissed me off to no end, how he could say such a thing was unbelievable since he had been the only one I had been with and we were together for 2 yrs... it was stupid and a way for him to make himelf feel better. To this day he has not ever been a part of my sons life. He has seen my son 2 times in 8 yrs. Once when my son was a yr old and then again about 2 yrs ago. My son has NO idea that he has a biological father and I am not sure when I will let him know. My husband has been around my son since he was just a couple of months old and so there has been no reason to tell my son any different.
There has never been any contact with my son and his bio grandparents for the purpose that they are INSANE... his bio grandfather is racist against me, therefore does not accept my son, and his grandmother is very unstable and even went as far as to threaten me when I was in labor, claiming that she was coming up to the hospital to take my baby away from me since I did not do what she wanted me to do... needless to say we had a restraining order against her and of course I do not trust her. My son has seen his bio great grandparents, they are wonderful people and only want the best for my son. They have seen him quite a few times and I am ok with that, my son just thinks that we are visiting friends. My sons bio dad has never paid a dime for a thing. I have no intentions of ever going after him nor do I want anything from him. When the time comes my son will know who his bio dad is and it will be his decision on what to do from there. I will not talk ill of his bio dad but leave it up to my son to figure out what he wants to do....
Ok, that is the gist of the story.... so I am watching Dr.Phil and he is talking about the bio dad and says that it is vitally important for the bio dad to be a part of this child's life.... I have to say that I disagree, UNLESS the dad is completely ready to be a dad I think that it is horrible to try and force something upon an innocent child. I think that it would be horrible for this guy to come into the babies life and then decide that he did not like it and decide to bail. Sucks..ok, I am done for now, I am sure that I will have more to say on the subject but as far as I am concerned he is a sperm donor and nothing more, when he leaves and says that the kid is not his, I believe that he just forfit his options as a dad... easy way out for a guy...