OK I could not resist...

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

So life is hectic as ever... Now that Christmas is upon us things have really seemed to start rolling. I do not have much shopping done ( I suck, I know) I do have a few things but it seems time is just flying. I have most of my Christmas cards made and will finish them up tomorrow night and hopefully get them mailed on Saturday. I love making my Christmas cards but it is definetely time consuming.
Nothing else is really exciting. The Rams pulled off a miraculous win on Sunday against Houston, it should have been a given but since we are missing a lot of our team and on our 3rd string QB I would say we did fairly well. Then of course there was the Seahawks/NY game... You really would have thought that NY would have been able to pull it off... I mean come on 3 FREAKIN field goal attempts and he misses ALL of them... Gotta love those New Yorkers. *sigh* Only time I root for another team to beat the Seahawks and they cannot manage to pull it off. Grant Wistrom is still a stud :o)
Ok, well I am off for now... I am sure there is a lot more to tell, I just cannot think of it now.
Just remember... 24 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS!!!!!

I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I will skip the subject all together.
I am working on my Christmas card list and talked to a GF that lives in OK. Well, we got onto the subject of a place that we used to work at in Tulsa called CFS. It was a debt collection company and it was an absolutely awesome place to work. The training we got was extensive and hard as hell. The job was a good one, there were tons of perks. The hours were awesome, there were company trips, he flew the WHOLE company and their families to FL, Insurance was $1 a month for the WHOLE family, there was free child care for the people that worked there. It was too good to be true, and in the end thats the way it ended up being. Everyone got laid off and supposedly the VP was doing naughty things. I do not quite understand all the details just remember us all losing our jobs. In the end I just did not care, we ended up in TX so really my life was not impacted too much. There were quite a few lawsuits and I guess we were all automatically involved and ended up with like $300. Which was nice since I did nothing for it. Then a couple of years ago I got a check for like $2 which was rather funny. Anyways, the reason I mention all this is I really think that the guy that owned the company was behind it all. My girlfriend and I were talkin about it and now he is a MOTIVATIONAL speaker... he was acquited on 57 accts of whatever. Again, I do not remember all the details I did not keep up with it. You can have him come speak at your business for like $15,000 for an hour and a half and he is now a BILLIONAIRE. Amazing, all of it if you ask me. HERE is his website. Oh, well, no biggy to me either way. Just amazing how things turn out. HERE is another story that was in INC about him. And HERE is an article on the verdict on what happened. Here is one last article.

First and foremost.... HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

I guess I should get a post in before I go another week without it. I have been really busy preparing for my mother in law, sister in law and nephews arrival. We had a lot of cleaning and reorganizing to do. Things are in order so now all we have to do is wait for them to get here this evening.
A big congrats to Geoffery and his new bride on their recent marriage. Its about time, Geoff :o)
Lets see, My best friend will be 30 really soon so her hubby and I are planning a birthday party for her, nothing too big, mostly family and a few friends since she still has to take it really really easy. Her doctor let her off bed rest but she cannot do any chores, any cleaning, lifting or anything that will get her going. But since the doc took her off bed rest we thought a small party for her would be good. She has also found out what the baby is and has picked a name... I am so very excited and pray that this is the pregnancy that she will keep.
Tomorrow morning my grandma and I are going to go to see my grandpa. It has been a few weeks for me and I am really having a hard time dealing with it. First holiday without him is going to be really hard on me. We have also decided that we are going to do our own Thanksgiving here since my in laws are going to be here. I am doing the whole meal so that should help keep my mind off things. But to get to spend some time with my grandma will be good for both of us.
To someone tuff.. 14congrats on killing 3 deer :oP I am sure you had a great time and I hope you get that last tag filled, just do me a favor and make it something mountable. :o)
Ok, well I am going to get off here! I hope that everyone has a great Thanksgiving holiday!

OK, I am completely over being bitchy... for the moment :o) I tend to get rather crabby when hubby is out of town...dealing with the kids morning noon and night from the time I wake up to the time they fall asleep gets rather old. Things are sorta back to normal.
Tonite I am going to play bunco with some girlfriends and then tomorrow my best friend is moving into her new house so I am going to go over there and help her clean since she is still bed ridden and needs the help. Its a brand new house but with everybody walkin through the place its going to need some cleaning. So that is where I come in. Other than that I have no plans.
I need to start planning for Thanksgiving dinner...we are going to fry the turkey again, I have some of the other stuff planned but plan on doing everything else from scratch.
Ok, off to clean house before I leave this evening...Oh, and hunny... I love you!!!! :o)

HUNNY ITS ALL GOOD I LOVE KNOWING... DONT LET IT PISS YOU OFF!!!! :o) Oh, yeah and I am over the whole MEN ARE STUPID thing... I will just have to accept it and move on or turn lesbo or move to my own private island... which all of those are options... eventually I will choose. OK, I am done being a smart ass for the moment.

Can someone please explain to me WHY men are so fuckin STUPID???? Ok, so that seems a little harsh, but in my opinion its just the tip of the iceberg.
Example 1. I am getting 4, YES 4 children ready for bed and I get a phone call... what do I do during this call... tell the kids to do this, that and the other cuz for some reason in the 10, 8, 5, and 3 yrs that they have been going to bed they STILL need to be told to brush their teeth, get their PJs on and GO TO BED... The last one being the most difficult task to comprehend. So I am barking orders and have a husband pissed off on the phone cuz I am not talkin to him but talkin to the kids instead... I am sorry, have you forgotten that we have children that need to be told EVERYTHING?????? AND THAT I AM DOING THIS BY MYSELF?!?!?!?!?!???
Then today there was an issue of LYING children, so I am tryin to get the truth out of 3 of the 4 children and yet again, he wants to talk and wants to know WHY I am in such a bad mood...Oh and to top it off... I have been MOODY all day and WARNED him of this right off the bat... COULD IT BE BECAUSE OUR CHILDREN DID SOMETHING THEY WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO AND I WANT THE FUCKING TRUTH???? So we hang up and I do NOT answer the phone the next 150 times that he calls back. I am in a really bad mood, DONT want to talk to him and am trying to deal with the children...3 of the children are crying and denying and he BITCHES when he calls and he cannot hear me... Well, he DEFINETELY would not have been able to HEAR me since I had 3 CRYING children... YET AGAIN I AM DOING THIS ALL BY MYSELF!!! So, you tell me.... WHY ARE MEN SO FUCKING STUPID????
Ok, done with my rant for now... Back to being the house bitch....

I cannot believe Thanksgiving is right around the corner. My Mother in law, Sister in law and nephew are comin up for Thanksgiving. We decided that we would just do it here at our house and not have my in-laws and my family at the same time. My aunt is hosting it out at her house and it would be a mad house with all of us there so I will prepare Thanksgiving. Hubby will fry the turkey and I will do everything else. They are coming in late on Wednesday and staying til Sunday.
Our great dane is officially an IT. We had him fixed a week ago and he is doing great. He weighed in at 103 lbs last week. I am sure he has gained a good 5-6 lbs since then. He really is an excellent dog. There are times he plows the children over or me, but he just does not realize his size and tends to pout after being scolded for it, so there is no stayin mad at him. He still tries to sit on my lap but obviously that does not work without cutting off circulation to my legs.
Hubby is out of town again. Had to go to CA to fix some stuff at a clients and could possibly be heading to Kansas after his job there is done. The CA trip was unexpected and the Kansas trip has been planned so it screwed up the KS trip but he still may have to go. If he does go to KS he will not be home til Saturday which really sucks since that is the day my best friend is supposed to be moving into their new house and I do not have a babysitter to watch the kiddos.

A lot has been going on around here it seems. My best friend is preggers and could use all the prayers possible. She is somewhere around 13 weeks preggers and has been on bed rest since she was 9 weeks. A bunch of different issues are going on and I wont get into them here. Needless to say its been a rough go at the pregnancy. A few more scares than I really care for.
The kids had a good halloween despite all the rain and it being cold. My oldest was a Stealth Ninja, my older daughter was a Punk Pirate chic, my younger daughter was a Bratz and my youngest was Batman. Hubby put on a Burglar mask and I was a Heavenly Devil.. half Angel half Devil. Hubby says there is a lot more devil than angel but I disagree :o)
One thing I have to say I am thankful for of my ex not being in the picture with my son is... I DON'T have to share my son!!! I hate the idea of having to share my babies with anyone on special days. ANY special day. Even as minimal a holiday as Halloween. I get the pleasure of ALL holidays plus every other day. Of course I enjoy the break from my kids, but those are just ordinary days and not for long periods of time. I know a lot of people that have to share their kids on a regular basis and it sucks. I am sure my ex could care less but I am thankful!! I get to pick out costumes, I get to see all the awesome things and see the happiness on my childs face and not have to worry about missing those special times. Sucks to be my ex... HIS loss :o)
Anyways, we went around our neighborhood and one other neighborhood then went to see my grandma. She enjoyed seeing all the kids in their costumes. It was just last Halloween that we took the kids to the rehab center that my grandpa was in to see him and visit with him... and now hes gone. Days like that really hit me hard. The playoffs for the Cardinals hit really hard too. I was used to talkin to him during that time and hubby was always givin him shit that the Astros were going to beat the Cardinals and this yr that is exactly what happened. I did go and put a Cardinals banner by my grandpas headstone though. I need to get a Rams one for him :o)
OK, well on to next subject before I cry.... This last weekend was a busy one. Saturday we did a bunch of running around and went to the Applebutter festival in Kimmswick. Its something that I normally do with my best friend but since shes bed ridden hubby and the kids went with me. Not the same but overall we had a good time. Sunday we watched the football game and got some stuff done and my cousin babysit the kids for me so that hubby and I could go to a meeting at Harrah's. We met with some really awesome people, I wont get into detail of that one either since its still in the works and I dont want too many ppl knowing. But needless to say it was an awesome meeting and I really enjoyed the ppl. We had the buffet there at Harrah's. There were 7 of us there. Just 2 women, myself and another lady and we had a blast with the guys. After eating and the meeting we went down to the casino for a while. I lost $30 but still had a lot of fun. Well I guess technicallyI llost $50 but one of the guys fed a $20 into the slot I was playin on. I managed to lose that too :o( Over all it was an awesome time. While we were at the meeting my cousin and aunt took the kids to an indoor playground and wore them out and they also had a blast.
This Friday is my brothers last football game. They only won 2 games, but I think he had a good time playin this year. We will go to his last game on Friday since its a home game. I have made it to 2 of his games and I want to go to his last one. Its senior night so he may not play at all. But either way, I want to see him hold down the sideline :o) He is supposed to come over tomorrow so that I can get pics of him in his uniform before he has to turn all the crap in. I will post some when I get a chance... I also will post a pic of us girls from the wineries that I have not done yet....

Happy HALLOWEEN!!!!!

OK, so I have been busy and partly lazy and have not blogged in a while. Mostly its because I have been busy. This time of year always tends to speed things up. The kids are in the full swing of school. The younger 2 are more and more active. Hubby has been working a lot. He has finally slowed down on his traveling, thank goodness. We have spent a lot of time as a family together. I have also managed to get out some. This last weekend we had a girls day and a bunch of us went to the wineries in Augusta. We had a wonderful time and next year decided that we are going to rent a limo and go in style so that we can all drink and not have to worry about a designated driver. It was Alesia, Christy, Kelly, Kathy and myself. We had a wonderful time and took several pics. Hubby has been workin some on the weekends so he was gone on Sunday. He also had a Schottish Rite Reunion the weekend before. I have to say, my hubby looks awesome in a tux. I think its awesome to see them all in a tux. I have not seen the pics from the reunion yet but it was strange for hubby. First time at a reunion without my grandpa. My dad did not go but my uncle was there. He is not as active as my family is, but he has been trying to do some here and there.
As far as the World Series goes... BLAH to the Astros beating my Cardinals. Hubby of course was rooting for the Astros and was THRILLED when they beat out my Cardinals. Though it looks like the Astros are going to have their asses handed to them on a platter. They managed to put a good fight last night. But still failed.
The Rams are sucking too, but I am not too stressed, just happy to have football back. The Monday night football game was pretty good. Poor Jets lost.. gotta love New York :o) Well, that is all I have time for now. Gotta make dinner for the rugrats. Hope all is well with everyone else...
Oh, one last lil tidbit. I am going to FL in Feb.!!! My girlfriend Laura lives down there and I have decided that I want a vacation. So I am going to head to FL to see her... ALL BY MYSELF!!! Nothing better than a vacation by myself :o) I am really excited about seeing her! Just for a weekend... but that is better than nothing!! OK, now I am outtie!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY PRINCESS!!!!!

Also, GOOOOO CARDINALS!!!!!

I took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Needs a peaceful environment. Wants release from s..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Last night was a lot of fun. My grandma wanted hot dogs. So we brought hotdogs to her for her birthday. My parents, us, and my uncle, Michelle and Nayah were there last night. I could not get a hold of my other aunt. I could not find her number (oh, darn) I did look, did make a few calls to find out of anyone had it and no one seemed to know it... so guess it was just the way it was supposed to be, which works out fine for me. I do not think my grandma minded either since that aunt has been driving her nuts. We got her a Thomas Kincaide print of a lighthouse. She loves lighthouses and Thomas Kincaide so it was a perfect gift for her and she loves it. We also brought Titan over to see her, which she just LOVED. She absolutely loves him and wishes she could handle one. So instead we bring him over to visit her when we can :o)
My other aunt had a thyroid gland taken out of her throat yesterday so she was not able to make it since shes in the hospital. She pulled through her surgery just fine. Its normally an easy procedure but the doctors wanted to keep my aunt overnight just in case. She seems to be doing good so hopefully she will be out soon. We also talked to my mother in law to wish her a happy birthday. I have not mailed her card yet but will get to that soon.
Here is a pic of hubby and I on Beale St too. It was on my camera and did not get uploaded so I thought I would add it. :o) I still have a bunch of pics that need to be uploaded, just have not gotten to it.
Oh and CONGRATS TO THE CARDINALS FOR MAKIN IT TO THE PLAYOFFS!!!! NOW, to go all the freakin way and WIN the World Series and NOT bomb like we did last year... that I really do not want to talk about. As for the Rams... How I love them and hope that their year gets better. I am sure they will figure it out and will turn it around soon. The loss to NY sucked ( love new yorkers) At least that is my hope for them :o) I have not really followed hockey yet, but will get to it eventually. Right now its all about football and baseball. Ok, I am done for now...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL GRANDMA AND TO MY MOTHER IN LAW!!!!!!

WOW, what a few weeks its been. Seems that we are always busy and always on the go. Hubby got home around midnight on Friday. We spent the day as a family on Saturday. Then on Sunday I went to a friends house and started on my Christmas cards, managed to finish 10, yeah I know Christmas cards already... but hey I have about 70-80 to make so the sooner I get started the better off I am. :o) The first 10 turned out awesome and I love them. Hubby had a Scottish Rite rehearsal for a reunion that is coming up so my dad watched the kids for us. They had a blast over there. We also had dinner with them. I also got another 150 pics printed!!! I think I have all the ones I want for scrapbooking our Memphis trip. I will have to do a whole album just on our trip. But it will be worth it!!
We are going to my grandmas tomorrow night for her birthday. It should be awesome to go over there and spend her birthday with her. It will also be bittersweet since my grandpa will not be there. She got me a birthday present and in the card I started to cry, for the first time in my life, it was just signed Grandma. No grandpa in there. Which really got to me. Its been 6 months and I still have my moments where I just want to call and talk to him, to talk about the baseball game to just chat with like we used to. It is really very tough not being able to talk to him like I used to be able to. Last year they called and left a message, my grandpa sang Happy Birthday to me and remembering that also was a heart wrenching thing. Anyways, here I am rattling on about my birthday when it was my grandmas I had started out talkin about.
Ok, I am off for now. Hope all is well with everyone else. For those of you that I know read this... LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! Hey Pea.... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :o) Oh and to you know who... your not as tuff as you think you are!!! :o)

Well back to hectic life. Hubby had to go back to Phoenix til the new guy starts which is next Monday. He left Sunday evening and will be back late on Friday night. I hate his traveling but understand it. We had a good weekend. They had their ribbon cutting ceremony on Friday, which is several months late, but better late than never :o) He was late getting home due to everything. A couple of the guys from out of town flew in to be here for everything. So they went ahead and had a committee meeting. Saturday we spent it as a family getting things done. Went shopping, got hubby some new clothes, which was needed. Had dinner at Bandanas and that was about the extent of our Saturday... OH, other than I got 576 pictures printed!!!! Which is more than I have ever done, but if you take em to Walgreens and use their 19 cents a copy, its not too bad. Still ended up about $115 but not bad for 576 pics :o) Then on Sunday finished up getting hubby packed, went out to Robs for a bbq and the football game and took hubby to the airport for him to fly out to Phoenix. Oh, yeah, we also went to a wine shop that sells one brand of wine and bought several more bottles of wine... I think we are up to about 100 bottles... someone better start drinking!!!
The Rams WON!!!! That was an awesome game, we got screwed outta a call, but whatever, we still won that is all that matters. In other things, we have heard from our friends in TX, they are doing ok, back at home. Said its strange to see soooo few ppl in Houston, but they had very few problems. As for M, not quite sure how she faired, hopefully will talk to her soon to see how her house is. They live by Beaumont so they were closer to all that happened... they know they have no electricity and are thinking it will be about 2 weeks before they get it back. OK, well off to feed the kiddos...

A poem that Laura sent me that I thought was beautiful....


UnFolding the Rosebud
It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.
The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
God opens this flower so sweetly,
In my hands it will fade and die.
If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of God's design,
Then how can I think I have wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?
So I'll trust in Him for His leading
Each moment of every day.
I will look to him for His guidance
Each step of the pilgrim way.
The pathway that lies before me,
Only my Heavenly Father knows.
I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.
- Helen Steiner Rice

We took over 800 pictures on our trip to Memphis....So its slow going on the upload and hubby is doing it. HERE is the link to the pics we have up so far, oh and hubby posts them ALL so there will be some screw ups in there. Also, one of our memory cards is corrupted or something and we had to recover pics from it, so there are a few screwed up pics that I noticed. I am hoping to get those cleaned up and usable since a lot of them were really good.

I have a lot to talk about so I will get started and see how far I can get. Hubby decided that we were going to go to Memphis for my birthday. He got back from Phoenix on Wednesday, took off on Thursday, Friday and Monday. We got a lot of stuff done for the trip on Thursday and left around noon on Friday. Our friend Rob went with us to get away too. We got to Memphis around 5 that night. We stopped at an outlet mall that had a scrapbook store on our way down there, which was awesome. Once we got to Memphis we ate a restraunt called Houston's. It was INCREDIBLE. I had the BEST pan seared crabcakes I have ever had in my life. Hubby and Rob both had steak. Robs has bleu cheese slices on tomatoes that was delicious ( I had to try it) and hubbies was a hawaiian steak that was melt in your mouth yummy. The kids had chicken strips that they loved too. After that we dropped Rob off at his hotel for the evening and went to ours. Our hotel was booked by the time Rob decided he was going to go so there was not space at ours. Then we got to ours and just relaxed for the evening. Rented the movie Madagascar for the kids, which hubby and I thought was cute too.
Got up early on Saturday morning (which was my birthday!!) ate at the only frekain McDonalds we could find and headed to the zoo. We got to the zoo around 9:30 and headed to the panda bears!!! It is not that big of a zoo but is a pretty zoo. And for the first time in my life I saw panda bears. I was soo excited. The panda has been my favorite animal all my life and I absolutely adore them. So to see them for the first time was incredible. The boy, LeLe was outside in the play area and YaYa was up in a tree inside sleeping. We went around the zoo and managed to make it back to the pandas several time, along with seeing them being fed. LeLe was the only one that got down to eat. YaYa stayed up in her tree. It was really an awesome experience for me, and I have the best husband in the world to take me to see them. After the zoo Rob wanted to rest so we took him back to his hotel for a while then we went to Elmwood Cemetary to look around. It has a Confederate Soldiers area, a lot of ppl that had died from yellow fever, the first black millionaire is also there. It is a very interesting cemetary. There is also a section for Masons that is very interesting. Hubby and I got out by the Confederate area. There is a beautiful memorial there that hubby wanted to look at. Now, this part of the story gets interesting. I was walking around lookin at the graves, I cleaned a few off that had a lot of growth on them. I was reading the large memorial that had a bunch of stuff on it when I felt a drop in temp. I would say it was about 15 degrees. The sun was out, there was no breeze, it was a calm HOT day. As I was standing there it felt like an A/C was hitting me. It was that one spot. I had my hubby come over to me and he felt the same thing I did. It really was very strange. We left shortly after that and I guess all I can say about it was it made me feel calm. Maybe I am being over imaginitive, but in my mind I feel that it was a Confederate soldier there with me. I have always believed in OTHER things, not ghosts in particular, but spirits just other things other than the living. Hubby was disturbed by it, but I was at peace. It was just an awesome experience that I hope to never lose.
Anyways, that was our adventure to the cemetary. It was an experience I wont ever forget. We went to get Rob from his nap and went back to our hotel to get ready for our dinner. We went to a restraunt called The Pier. It is known for its seafood down by the river. It was a beautiful place with a great view of the river. I had lobster, hubby had another steak ( hes not a seafood eater) and Rob had seafood. The kids had a variety of things. Oh and a bottle of Clos Du Bos Merlot. Hubby got me a cybershot digital camera for my birthday. I wanted something smaller than the big one that he uses. Something more simple than our big one and SMALLER. Along with our trip to Memphis it was an almost perfect birthday. After dinner Rob watched the kids for us at our hotel so that hubby and I could go to Beale St and play. We went on a horse drawn carriage ride through downtown Memphis that was so incredibly romantic and sweet. Our driver was extremely knowledgable in the area and told us about the history of the place and interesting tidbits. We then wandered around Beale St for a while. It was awesome to feel the life in the area. Hubby is not a drinker and I did not drink, so it was awesome to just walk around. We went to a few of the gift shops and just enjoyed one another.
On Sunday we went to the Mud Island Museum out on an island on the Mississippi. We had to ride a monorail to get there. It was a really neat place. It was a small scale model of the Mississippi. They started it in Cairo, IL and ended it at the gulf. The kids had a blast playing in the water. Hubby also got rubber duckies for the kids and they raised em down the Mississippi. It was a lot of fun for everyone. There was also a museum that was a lot of fun. It had a small Ironsides from the civil war you could walk through, stuff on Elvis, the Blues and lots of other things that was a lot of fun to see. We also took the kids to Beale St to play around during the day and also took them on a carriage ride. Which they LOVED. We also had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe. The kids had a wonderful time playing. We got back to the hotel that night and they passed out. On Monday we went to the Peabody to see the duck walk. The kids thought that was really neat too. And on our way out of town we drove by Elvis' place. I was not willing to pay the outrageous amount they wanted to see his stuff. So we took pics from the outside, signed his wall and went on our way home. We got home Monday evening, grabbed the dogs and that was our weekend :o)
We also got the kids disposable cameras for the trip. They each got 2. One for the zoo and then another at the Mud Island. They could do what they wanted with them. But once they used them up that is all they had. We got the pics developed and they did a lot better than I thought they would. They are going to do albums once I put some stuff together for them. It was a wonderful idea and they had a BLAST with them.
As for Rita the hurricane, I am so glad we do not live in Houston anymore. They evacuated the area that we lived in along with so many others. All of our friends are evacuating, some may end up this way. Which would be awesome. Our prayers and thoughts with all our friends. We love you guys!!!

OK, so I thought about blogging yesterday but decided to just do my little one and blog another time since I am in a bitchy mood, its going to be a bitchy post. And really, I should not have bitched yesterday since it really was a very sad day.
Now, for today, things have been hectic, not just hectic but REALLY hectic. Hubby is STILL in Phoenix and NOT happy about it. He has managed to take a few minutes to go take some pictures of the area. Our son requested some cactuses so he took some. HERE is the link for the pics that he has taken so far. He is going to try and go to Apache Junction and take pictures of the mountains there. He has been extremely busy and has not been enjoying it. He has worked all weekend and a bunch of other things that I will not get into detail with. As for me, I feel like a single parent and its very taxing, only difference is, I dont get to get rid of my kids on weekends. I have to deal with them 24/7 and it gets very stressful. Just 2 more days....
HERE are the pics that we took a couple weekends ago. I finally got them uploaded, well at least most of them, there are still a few more that I should put up but have not gotten to. I will eventually get to em.
This last weekend was ok, I went to my brothers football game against my old HS. My old HS won against his 12-7. My brother did not get to play, since they wanted their "seasoned" players in there. Regardless they lost. But my brother held down the sideline well. :o) It was a great game and I did enjoy it. Of course earlier that day was Bev's dads funeral, and the funeral went as any funeral goes. It was the same place my grandpa was buried so I went to visit him for a while after the funeral then went back to Bevs place for the refreshments. It was the first time I have been to my grandpas grave by myself. I thought I could handle it ok, but I really had a hard time, probably was not the best time to go, since I had just come from a funeral. I was already sad at that point. It was good for me though. It was something I needed to do.
The rest of my weekend was fairly quiet, the kids played outside and enjoyed the queit weekend. My oldest went to church with a good friend of his and we had to run to the store, other than that we have stayed in. It was nice to have a weekend in. I am sure there is a bunch more I could say, but its time to make dinner for the kiddos. Oh, and dont forget to check out my friend Rod's website. Its on my links bar.... OK, off to make kids dinner!

Today is a day of rememberance, of pausing and thinking of all those that have lost loved ones and those that are still here and fighting to keep us safe and free. I cannot believe that it has been 4 yrs already. God bless on this day of rememberance.

Bev's dad passed away on Friday at 4:01 in the morning. Which in a way was shocking, yet in another way not. He has fought a long and hard battle. He was in the rehab center, but was not improving. He was eating on his own, but was still not breathing on his own and could not get out of bed without help. It is really starting to hit me. I have known him all my life, he used to tell my parents when I was doing something I was not supposed to be doing (which was not often since I am a perfect angel, RIGHT) He had this god awful paper route that he did and us kids in the neighborhood used to help out. It was horrible, I remember helping, the early early times we had to be there, and the horrible feel of those newspapers on the hands. If my parents ever went out of town he would tell my parents who I had over, what we were doing, the whole nine yards. He has always been a pain in my ass, but he was always a good guy. I know now he was just looking out for me. He was also a good guy, as much as he was a pain, he was good to us too. I grew up with his kids, I know all 3 of them and the youngest has been a friend of mine all our lives. Which is saying something. To know someone all your life and still be in touch and close to them is amazing. I treasure the fact that Bev has always been there. I have always been able to call her and talk to her, she knows a lot about me, more than some. To think that she lost her dad at such a young age is devastating. She is handling it as well as anyone can expect. The wake is tonite and the funeral is on Friday at JB since he is going to be cremated. Its just so sad, he was still so young...
As far as the rest of life, its going, I spent Friday night with Bev at her place to be there for her, they had funeral arrangements to make on Saturday, and then Sunday was more prepping to get things taken care of for her.
We took care of our friends 3 Great Danes while they were in Dallas this weekend, so we did a lot of running around. We took the kids to see Lion King at the MegaScreen. Which they absolutely loved, as did hubby and I. We found some beauitful wild daisies and decided to stop and get some pics of them and of the kids, I will try and get them uploaded as soon as possible. We had to get some stuff for hubbies latest business trip. This time he went to Phoenix and will be there til late Friday night. The kids and I dropped him off at the airport at the gruesome hour of 6:30 this morning. Needless to say I have CRABBY kids that hate to be woke up so dang early. The rest of my week consists of going to a wake, taking care of kids, funeral on Friday, and if I am up to it a football game that my brother is going to be in. He is playing my old high school, so a girlfriend and I may go to that Friday night, then to pick up the hubby at the airport afterwards.
Ok, well I am off to get my clothes ready for tonite, to get other things taken care of before I have to leave, I will work on those pics and get them up as soon as I can. I am sure I will be posting again in the next couple of days...

OK, I decided it was time for a change, did not know it was going to be such a pain in the ass, but its done. Our puppy is now 80 pounds and growing. He is growing an average of a pound a day.
The devestation in LA, MS and AL is unbelievable. It is so sad to see all those people homeless and so much destruction. But the more I watch the news the more pissed off I get. I feel so bad for the families that have no where to go and those kids and old people that are without so much. Then you see the people looting, stealing anything and everything, whether it is useful or not. You hear about a brother shooting his sister in the back for a bag of ice, you hear about people committing suicide, people completely destroying the shelters that they are in, smearing shit and blood all over the place, kids sleeping in urine and I just get outraged. WHY destroy the place that is graciously housing you, protecting you from the outside elements? I am so sorry to those people that are just trying to make the best of a situation, trying to protect their children, people that cannot afford or have any place to go. Then there are the idiots that are SHOOTING at the helicopters and HURTING a guardsman in the process. The very people that are trying to help them and they are hurting them. What is wrong with ppl??? It is so very disappointing to see the way people are reacting.
Ok, done with the rant, since it is such an unfortunate event. Please make a donation to any of the places if you can. Here is a link to Salvation Army. God bless all those that are down there helping and risking their own lives to save those that are in need. To those that give, thank you and God bless you too

Life is sort of back to normal. My cousin picked the baby up around 11 Thursday morning. I have to say I miss the baby a lot. I do not miss the middle of the night feedings but do miss the coo's, cuddles and smiles I always got out of the baby girl. I have talked to my cousin a few times since she has left and will have to start getting together with her more often so that I can spend time with her and the baby. We took a lot of pictures of Nayah while she was here and hubby decided that he was going to burn it to a DVD with songs and a slideshow for my cousin and her hubby. It turned out beautifully and my cousin cried. We made 2 copies so that she could mail one to her hubby in his next package. He is a lot like my hubby and loves computer and electronic stuff so I am sure he will love it :o) My kids and their lives are pretty much back to normal too. They are back in the swing of school and not whining as much. The younger 2 are getting along while the older 2 do lessons.
A friend of mine that works at Radica games got a promotion,Senior Designer, congrats to you hun!!! He has designed several games and has gotten several awards and nationally acclaimed for those games. HERE and HERE are a few examples of things he has done... He is a really awesome guy and I am so very happy for him :o) He has traveled to Japan that I know of to do the work that he does. Again, you are awesome, keep up the great work :o)
We had dinner with our friend Rob last night. His divorce is final and hes been tryin to get his life back on track. We went over to see him last night and spent time with him and his daughter and a couple of other of his friends. Tonite we are going to my parents for dinner and visit with them for a while.
My brother is playing football this year, which is awesome that he is finally going to do it. Hubby and I are going to see his football game against my old school. It should be good since both of the teams suck. :o) Now, who to root for, my brother and his team, or my old HS... It should be a lot of fun regardless. OK, that is enough for now, back to cleaning house and getting laundry done... If I only had a maid....

WOW, what a week... Things have been rather hectic the last couple of days. Not bad, just hectic. Getting my 2 older ones back into the swing of school, getting the baby to fit into this new schedule of school, getting my other younger children to leave the older 2 alone... and I homeschool WHY?? Just kidding, just getting back into the swing of things after a pretty relaxed summer tends to be a little harsh on the system for the kids and me. We are doing review stuff now. So its going quickly and with little complaint. We will get into new stuff soon. Of course my parents are still unhappy with our decision, but I have decided that while their input is unsolicited, I will listen like a daughter should, and then do what hubby and I have decided is best for our family anyways. :o) Nice thing about raising our children the way we see fit...
I only have 5 1/2 days left with the baby, and have to say I am sad having to think shes leaving, but know that her mommy cannot wait to hug and kiss her. She really misses her and is miserable in Kentucky. She is sick to top it all off. Luckily my aunt got out of the hospital today and plans to spend a part of the time with the baby tomorrow here at the house to help my hubby out while I get some much needed ME time. Hubby did manage to get some HIM time tonite, he went out with the guy he works with and is enjoying a movie and dinner with him. My oldest son is spending the weekend with my parents. Spending tonite and tomorrow with my dad and then going to spend Sunday with my mom. That should be good for him. He loves going to my parents store with him. My dad lets him make things and lets him play on the computer and takes him to lunch so its awesome one on one time with his grandpa. Then he loves going to church with my mom, she goes to an all Korean church and he loves the Sunday school teacher that is there, who happens to be American :o) How my son loves God... it really is awesome. I am very proud of my son and all my children, but to see how awesome my son is turning out, despite all my worries, and all the other things I have talked about, and how things COULD have turned out... ok, enough rambling..
My girlfriend, Darla, is scrapbookin with us tomorrow and may bring her daughter over to play with my daughters. Which will ease some of the pain on my poor hubby who is going to have his hands full with all these kids.
As for my best friend, things are looking up for her, her fertility specialist is really helping her and her hubby out. Hopefully they will be able to get pregnant and will be blessed with kids too. :o) She would make an awesome mom, she really would. We do not agree on everything, but of course she has yet to have kids of her own to experience and change how she feels once she has one of her own to deal with. Everything changes once you have your own.
One of our OTHER children, Titan, was taken back to the vet today for a checkup and hes now 70.5 lbs and GROWING. He really is an awesome dog and we have really enjoyed him. He is sooo sweet natured, takes the crap from the kids and just loves to be around them. He does what he can to be with them and just be around them. Ok, well, I am outtie, baby is up and wants to eat one more time...
OH, ONE MORE THING... CARDINALS ARE # 1 IN THE WHOLE LEAGUE!!! WHOHOOOOO With an awesome win against SF tonite, coming back from 4-0 in the bottom of the 8th and comin back to WIN it 5-4 in the bottom of the 9th... How I LOVE baseball :o) Edmonds YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! OK, NOW I am outtie.... Have a great weekend all!!!

Who ever thought adding a baby into the mix of my already chaotic life would take so much time??? OK, she really is an excellent baby and does a lot of sleeping, some eating, and a little bit other stuff. She is only up once a night which is between 3 and 4, which is not bad at all. She eats and falls right back to sleep til 6 or 7. So, overall that is awesome for a 2 mth old baby. I talk to my cousin every day, she is doing better. Tired of being around 180 men and women who stink of BO. She is also tired of having to be mean, which is totally not in her nature, but I guess being a Sergeant has its perks and downside. She is up at 3:30 in the morning and does not get off til about 8 at night and finally gets to bed around 11 after eating, showering and shining her boots. So that does not help how shes feeling. Just one week left. To top it all off, shes away from her baby, her hubby is in Iraq and her mom (my aunt) is in the hospital with pneumonia. So all she really wants is to be home.
Other things in our life, the kids started schooling on Monday, so that has added to whats going on around here. They are starting off at a good pace and the structure is sooo much better for them. We are just doing a couple of hours a day since the other kids start school today and they wanted to play the last few days that they could.
This weekend will hopefully be less eventful than last weekend. We lost electricity last Saturday and got it back on Sunday night, which is not bad compared to some of the area that still does not have electricity but it still sucked. We spent a majority of last weekend at my parents house. This weekend should be a lot less eventful. I am going scrapbooking on Saturday and hubby may go out with one of his friends on Friday night that is the extent of our plans.
I have decided that I am going to do a small scrapbook of pics of Nayah from the time that she has been here for my cousin. We have taken a lot of pictures of her since she has been here and have Emailed them to her and her hubby and I thought it would be fun to do a small album for her. So I will do that scrapbookin on Saturday. OK, off to help the kids...

FIRST AND FOREMOST... HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO MY ADORABLE BROTHER!!!


School starts in less than a week... THANK GOODNESS. Normally the house is like grand central station with so many people in and out. As of lately things have been a little more hectic with the kids in the neighborhood. Have I ever mentioned that I do NOT like other peoples children?? Well, most of them anyways. There are a few I would adopt as my own, but for the rest... they could go away forever and I would not feel any remorse. I know how horrible am I? Well, as far as I am concerned brats annoy me and I have to deal with my OWN brats, WHY would I want to deal with other ppls brats??? *sigh* Then to add some of their parents, truly some people are completely idiotic and just plain STUPID. They are completely naive to how their children act and treat others and only make excuses for that child. I at least KNOW my children are brats and have to deal with them and talk to them about the issues that they are having cuz my kids actually TALK to me and tell me what is going on. And other people have kids that tell them lies to get away with things and the parents believe them. Granted my kids lie, like ALL children, but I know when they are lying and get the truth out of them. Instead of being a dumbass and just taking my childs WORD FOR IT.
The children that I am talking about have caused many of problems and have pissed me off on several occassions to the point that I do not want my kids around these little assholes. I am not the only parent that feels this way about these children either. One parent will not let her kids play with them at all and another watches them like a hawk. I am to the point where I do not want my kids around them at all any more and may be the decision that I come to. I wish people would get more in tune with their children, learn about them, learn how they are. I know my children's strengths and weakness. I know when they are lying, I know when they are being mean and can openly talk to my kids. I can tell them when they are being wrong, I make my kids apologize to people if they have wronged them. They are not perfect by any means and kids will be kids, but the least I can do is mold them, train them, and pray that they know its for their own good and come out a stronger and better person for it. Not IGNORE when kids are being brats.
Every parent that has come into contact with my children has made comments as to how well behaved and polite they are. They are required to say Sir and Ma'am to adults and to say their pleases and thank you's... which is EXTREMELY uncommon these days, but something we require of our children and will not let up on. Even when we are out to eat people make comments of how well behaved and polite our children are. It is a great feeling to know that they are learning, even if it is a daily fight with them.
Ok, I am done with my rant. The baby has been wonderful. I am a little tired from not being used to getting up in the middle of the night, but she is a really easy baby. She is happy to be in her swing or to be where she can see people, which is EASILY accomplished in my house :o) She is also learning to put herself to sleep and that is something new to her since she is so used to being on her mommy. Which I still do too... Who can help but hold a baby and let her fall asleep on my chest?? :D Shes not mine, I can spoil her rotten... which is easy since shes already spoiled rotten. I talk to my cousin several times a day, things are going good, shes extremely tired. Shes up at 4 in the morning and not getting to bed til 11. So shes tired, and of course training new recruits is something new to her and to the recruits. Shes not much for being mean so shes out of her element when it comes to the new people. Of course she misses her baby and her hubby. Well, speakin of the baby, shes startin to fuss :o)

Here is a pic of my cousin's baby from last night after her bath. Having my cousins baby has been wonderful. She is a gorgeous baby and is absolutely great. She gets up once in the night and then sleeps til 7 or 8, which is fine since my kiddos and the hubby are up by then. My kids just love and adore her too. She loves to smile and play and be talked to. I could not ask for anything better. Of course my cousin misses her terribly and calls several times a day. Which is fine with me. I would be worried about her NOT calling :o) Unfortuntatly she does not get good reception where she is staying so she calls when she is on break to eat. Shes been getting up at 4:30 in the morning and working til about 7 at night so shes really tired when she calls. Well speaking of the princess, its time for her to eat!

Something that I forgot to mention yesterday... I was reading ESPN and came across something that is surprising, yet not... Wayne Gretzky is going to be the head coach for the Coyotes. Gretzky was with the Blues for a VERY short while and did not impress me in the least. I actually went to the first home game that Gretzky played in Saint Louis and he did not do squat for us so I am not a fan of him like so many others are. I cannot say he did much for our team period. I know there are many that love him and he may be one of the best. But I am not impressed. Anyways, congrats to the Coyotes for the coach they are getting. Hope that they have the best of luck. Well, not the best but luck. :o) I will always be a Blues fan even after their BS with not being able to come to an agreement on the salary thing and ruining a whole years worth of hockey.
Last night was the first pre season football game. We watched a part of it. I routed for the Bears, not that I really cared who won. It was just nice to watch football again :o) OK, off to finish getting ready before my cousin gets here.
* The Space Shuttle landed successfully in CA too. Its going to be there for about a week and will start to make the trip back to FL. Thank goodness they are all safe and it went smoothly.

Damn was I long winded yesterday. No more spilling my guts any time soon! But, I appreciate all the feed back that I got from people. Rich, I love the way you give it to me straight and no sugar coating things. You are right as always, and you know I listen to you :o) Same to everyone else that said pretty much the same thing Rich did. I guess I just wonder when the right time is, if there ever is one. Which there just does not seem to be. No matter when I tell my son, my ex will never be ready so I will just have to do it when I feel is right and pray to God that my son does not get hurt, like I know he will, knowing how my ex is. OK, done with that. I pretty well have it figured out and will go on.
Peter Jennings passed away. I cannot believe he died so quickly after retiring from the news. I knew that he had cancer, but never stayed up with him. My prayers and thoughts are with the family.
The space shuttle was supposed to land at 3 this morning and has not done so yet do to weather in FL. Hubby set the alarm to wake up to see it land and we watched NASA tv for a while to see what was going on in Mission Control but unfortunately nothing happened. Hubby stays up to date on all the NASA going ons. We still have a lot of friends that work at NASA, including Mission Control so we always hear what is going on with our old life. My hubby working at NASA was the neatest job my hubby has ever had. We love all our friends that are there. One friend worked the launch of the shuttle, we are not sure if she is working the landing but sure either way she is involved with everything going on.
Tomorrow is the big day. We get baby Nayah. I am sure that I will not be able to post as much because of it. She is dropping her off at 10 in the morning and then off to KY til the 26th. I am excited about having a baby in the house.

Well, hubby and I did not make it to see Dukes of Hazzard. We read quite a few reviews, not that I take those to heart but decided to take advantage of the tax free weekend and go shopping instead. Which of course is A LOT more expensive than goin to see a movie, good or bad... We went to a really nice wine shop in Kirkwood and then went to look at other wine racks since we have outgrown the one that we have. We found a couple that we really liked and that would look good with our kitchen and the other wine rack we already have. Plus, you can LOCK it, not that I have to worry about my children getting into them, but thought that it was a good idea. We also went out to dinner, which is always nice. We shared a strawberry kiwi frozen margarita that was yummy. And of course to top our night off we had to go to Wal-Mart since we were down to 1 roll of toilet paper and I tend to panic with 4 kids!!
Saturday we went shopping again. This time buying all the kids new shoes and clothes. 4 kids and $500 later, NOT bad... (YEAH RIGHT!!!) And that was just a few things for each of the children, and only 1 pair of shoes for each! *SIGH* Dang kids, soo dang expensive :o) Then hubby and our oldest son met up with Scott and Sammy for a night at the movies and some games. They saw War of the Worlds, which hubby has seen already but the rest had not and the boys really wanted to see it. The boys did a flight simulator that they said was really awesome and played air hockey and other fun games while they waited for the movie. They had a great time and it was awesome for both hubby and our son to get some one on one time that does not happen often.
With that being said, I have to say I am one of the luckiest women ever, how many men take on a child that is not his own and treat him as equally to his own children? We have 3 other beautiful children together, but you would never know that my oldest is not his with the way they act. They love and adore each other with all their hearts. It is a true father/son relationship that I could not have ever dreamed of. My hubby even helped coach my sons tball team...Their are times that I think of my sons biological father being in my son's life, but truly, I do not think that it is a good idea. Even my sons biological father could not treat my son as well as my husband does and I am so very thankful for that. My husband has been in mine and my sons life since he was just a few months old, and 10 years later its the best thing that could have happened to us both. Of course there have been rough times and times that my son does things that are just like his biological father that I would just LOVE to pluck out of my sons DNA, but there are lots of my husbands charateristics that I have seen my son pick up on that I just smile at. A girlfriend and I share a lot of things in common, she is remarried has a daughter by a previous relationship, the difference is her daughter sees her dad, gets child support from her dad, where as mine has only met him twice in his 10 years of life and I have NEVER recieved a penny of support from my sons biodad. We have talked several times about our situations and the thought of telling my son about his dad, it breaks my heart that one day I will have to reveal that truth to him and hope to hell that he is not devestated by it. I know that he will be, but the question is WHEN do I tell my precious child that the man he loves, adores and has always looked up to is not really his biological father, that he has another one that has not given a shit about him since before he was born is out there???? That his biological father has 2 other children by two other women and is currently married to his third wife??? Hell who knows what the number of wives or children will be by the time I get around to telling my son about this guy. I have rarely spoken ill of the man that I had my first child with, we were each others first love and that cannot be changed. And of course have not spoken illy of him to my son since he does not know him, nor would I, my son will know what his biofather is like and make his own opinion of him on his own, without my feelings being involved. I will not lie to my son about what happened but I will not put all the blame on my ex either. He has not shown any interest in getting to know my son and that is his loss and my gain. As far as the last 10 years have gone, my ex has had the opportunity to make amends and has chosen not to. I have always told him that I would not do that if he decided to be a part of my sons life, what he has chosen has been on him and not me trying to keep my son away at all. He has always known how to get a hold of me, my parents have been in the same house for the last 28 years with the same phone # that whole time. I have also stayed in touch with his grandparents and they have always known how to get a hold of me also. My sons bio grandparents have seen my son quite a few times. Especially as a baby. I took my son to see them, with my best friend at my side, I took my son to the hospital when his great grandpa was in the hospital. Over the years its been fewer and far between visits, but I do make the attempt to do so. I even have pictures of my son with his great grandparents. To me there is something special there, they deserve to see their great grandson and I will not deny them that. Its not their fault as to what happened between my ex and I and I will not use my son as a pawn against them. That would not be fair to them or to my son. They know how their grandson is, and know that he has denied that my son is his, though his grandmother knows better, they know that he is their great grandson and know that their grandson is the father of my child. They have been very honorable and I have to respect them for that.
I have never hidden or ran from my ex or been mean to him to make him think that he could not get to know his son. I have also known how to stay in touch with him in case anything were to ever come up, we have managed to not hold any contempt for one another though I have lots of reasons to do so. I do not find it beneficial and know that everything happens for a reason and I would not be where I am without everything that has happened, including having an awesome husband and 3 other beautiful children with him. His psycho mother broke us up for her benefit and I was the one left with the consequences for the rest of my life. I do not regret having or keeping my son. He is my life, along with his siblings and my husband. I just cannot help but think to the future and what it holds for my child. I have spoken to his biodad about the whens and hows and ifs of the situation and he knows that it is my decision, like all others when it concerns my son. I have stayed in touch with my exs grandparents over the years. They love my son and I and always have. We talk when we can and I have always loved and adored them and think that they are wonderful people. They have always accepted that my son was their first great grandchild and regret what happened in the situation and hate that they do not see him often. I have taken my son over to see them. Of course he does not know that they are his great grandparents and they respect the fact that I do not want to tell him cuz that would mean telling him about my ex and that is just not what I want to do yet. But it is so hard to know that my son has other family that he does not know. Granted his biograndparents on my exs side dont care, but that is their loss. Plus, they are people that I do not want around my son. I will not ever forgive them for what they did to me. The dad hated me from the beginning cuz I am not WHITE, and his mother is just plain psycho, including calling the hospital while I was in labor with my son threatening to steal him and put him up for adoption herself. She called so many times that I had to be UNregistered at the hospital and had lots of people watching out for me and my son because of the horrible situation. She even called my parents house in the middle of the night threatening things. Luckily I have great parents, they did not want me to keep my son when they found out I was pregnant and kicked me out, but after everything and working through it all they love their grandson so very much and have been wonderful parents and grandparents since. My son is 10, and a very mature 10 at that, he has a great head on his shoulders and I adore him. But, I know that the time is coming, I know that one day my son will know the truth and there is nothing I can do to protect him from that. Then of course there is the fact of will my son want to know and meet his biofather. What if my son wants to get to know the man that he has never known? I can pretty much tell that it would be disasterous. My ex is full of bad choices and plenty of baggage and dealing with a son, an ex wife, an ex wife that tried killing his other son, and a current wife that is a bitch, a new baby and a child that the newest wife has. So he has 3 kids already and my son has no place in his life. NOT that I want for my son to have a place in his life with all the shit that he has done. Granted I have not been perfect, but I have maintained a steady life for my son. Not a lot of men have been in and out of my life and my son has always just known my husband. Granted when I first had my son I did lots of dating and lots of partying, but that is all done and over with and my son never knew of any of that. Where as my exs second child has dealt with his dad coming and going in his life, has dealt with a couple of different step mommies and now a new baby. I do not want that chaos for my son. That is a therapy bill I wish to avoid. WOW, I have gone on and on about my life in a way I do not normally do. Knowing that my sons biodads ex wife still reads this blog, I tend to leave things pretty vague. Oh, well. Her and I used to be friends and its nothing new to her. Sucks that she has had to endure dealing with her sons hurt feelings by the guy, that is one thing I have to say I am thankful for, my son has not been hurt by the guy and I like it that way. Granted my son has a half brother that he has seen and has been a part of ( not anymore) and another half brother that he has never been a part of but some day they could get to know one another. My son is happy with the siblings he has and he loves his sisters and brother. Plus, its the constant that he knows and he does not know any different.
Oh well, time will tell and I am sure that some day I will muster up the courage to talk to him about it. My parents and I have talked about it, they do not like the idea of me telling my son since all he has ever known was my husband. But I would hate for my son to find out from someone other than me. It is something that my hubby and I want and need to do, nothing that anyone else needs to tell my son. My whole family obviously knows and so do most of my friends. They have all been good about it and know that it is my decision. They have all been supportive and know that when the time is right that I will tell him. They all differ on their opionions on WHEN I should tell him, but all respect the decisions hubby and I have made up to this point. Now, to just figure out when... I guess one thing that has made me think about it all is his bio great grandparents that he does not know. They are old and hate that they do not know their oldest great grandson. Though they understand my choice and support me in it and have even told me that my son is better off with me and my hubby. They know that my son is loved and taken care of. My son has/had an outstanding relationship with my grandparents, his great grandparents, and I hate that he does not know such wonderful people as his other great grandparents are. My husbands side of the family has also treated my son as one of their own and I am so very thankful for that. My son has known 5 great grandparents ( 7 unknowingly) and has already lost 3 of the 5 that he knows. I want him to know his other great grandparents but how is that possible without him knowing about his biodad also?? OK, I think that does it for me :o) I have spilled my guts enough for one day and think I need to get back to life and living it now. A lot has to be done to prepare for my cousins baby. I need to get some rearranging done so that I can make her a part of our normal life. Hope that everyones weekend has been a great one!!!
Ohhhh, a couple of last notes, to you know who... I think that it is wonderful what has been happening with you and I am very excited about it all. I think that it is a positive change and something that I think will be awesome in the long run!!! You are a wonderful person and I love your enthusiasm. My hubby is also very excited and adores you also :o)
Ok, and to Rob, we love you!!!!! You are a wonderful person and we are so happy that you are a friend of ours. Things will get better, keep your head up and you will make it through everything just fine. You are a stronger person through all this and you will make it out with your pride and your heart will heal. Everything has its purpose and this will only lead to bigger and better things for you!! Hope you are having a blast in FL with yelly. We love you very much and will see you when you get back!!!!
Holy hell I have been long winded... enough is enough... I am OUTTIE!!!

Hubby and I are actually going out tonite, just the 2 of us. We do tend to get "dates" a little more than some people, but I love our nights out. It is nice to just be us and to be able to think of us and not worry about what the kids are doing. We are going to go out to dinner and then going to see Dukes of Hazard.
In the spare time I have (haha) I have joined a canasta league with a bunch of friends online. It was just started by some friends that I play canasta with on a regular basis. Its nice to play canasta in lots of different ways that are available. Since the people that started the game are in Texas its called the OUTLAWS. We have managed to recruit about 40 people for the league so far and it keeps growing.

The movie Must Love Dogs was a cute chick flick. There were 5 of us girls (Lynette, Kris, Nikki, Kelly and I) that went out so it was a perfect movie for us. We went to Red Robin for dinner and then to Ben and Jerry's for dessert and off to the movie. Dinner was great and Ben and Jerry's was awesome. The movie had some funny parts and was slow in some parts. I would not rate it as one of my favorites more like average. It was just awesome to be out with the girls and have fun with them. I think our next girl's outing will have to be pedicures or something really girly. :o) I have to admit its kinda niceto be a girl once in a while and its been a while since I have had a pedicure and they are so relaxing.
Well, I get my cousins baby in 5 days. I have been talkin to her quite a bit and we are getting things worked out. She is going to KY to train new recruits ( Originally I thought it was for Sergeant school, but that has not come up yet) They called her yesterday and wanted her to leave yesterday and want her to stay til OCTOBER. Of course she told them there was no way to do that. I cannot believe what they are expecting. Her husband is in Iraq doing his job and so she is basically a single parents, now they want her to leave her baby for 3 months and go to KY to train people. She is already going to be gone for 2 1/2 weeks. Hopefully she can get out of it and work it so that she does not have to do that.
Bev's dad is doing much better. They put a Trach(?) in yesterday and took out his ventilator. He is responsive and they are going to try and sit him up today. He is slowly improving, which is such awesome news since the last 3 weeks have been so back and forth. According to doctor's he was going to die 3 times. So we are just praying that he will just better and better!

OK everyone, I have added a new BLOG to my list. She is someone I adore and look up to. She is a godly woman and is awesome to talk to!!! HERE is the link to her blog. I suggest you go NOW!! CHOP CHOP :o)

As usual things are busy as ever. The kids have been in and out of the house like it is Grand Central Station around here. My youngest is potty trained!!! YEAH!!!! He still wears a pull-up at night, but that is cuz he is such a heavy sleeper that he does not wake up to go to the bathroom.
I have talked to Bev several times. They took the balloon out of his heart and they thought that his heart was so weak that he would pass away naturally, well that is not what is happening. He is improving little by little. They are still having to keep him sedated cuz he is getting so agrivated with his ventilator. The owner of my hubbies company was in the hospital the other day too. He had a mild case of pneumonia and his white cell count was way up so they pumped him full of antibiotics to kill off whatever is going on. Hubby and I went up to see him on Wednesday and he got home yesterday but has to take it easy for a few days. I have been to too many hospitals lately. People need to quit getting sick and stay outta the damn places!!!
Tonite I am going out to see Must Love Dogs with a bunch of girlfriends. Gotta love girls night out! There are a few other things going on in our lives, but not going to talk about them here, just excited about what is happening and I hope that it all works out! :o)
I get my cousins baby in a week and half. I am really excited about taking care of her. She is a beautiful baby and I adore her!! My cousin is less excited of course, but knows that her baby is in great hands so it will be easier for her to go off to her training.
We finally changed internet companies and I have to say we are less than pleased with the assholes. They did a shitty job of installing everything, to the point that a supervisor is coming out to assess what happened. Hubby had the worst time getting the damn thing to even connect too. We also changed phone companies. We did not keep our old # and opted for a new one. So if you are someone I missed giving my # to let me know :o) I have emailed most of the change but I am sure that I have missed some here and there. OK, off to get stuff done before going out tonite! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Bev's dad is still improving. Not sure of too much new news on him. Bev has been keeping in touch its just slow progress where he is concerned. Just prayers and a good medical staff seem to be getting him through this.
Life is hectic, but wonderful. Last weekend was a full one. I went to a Pampered Chef party that Deanna had, hubby and I had dinner with some friends of ours that was also a business meeting. It went really well and I have to say I love the people that my hubby works with. They are awesome people and I adore them. I also spent part of my weekend with my grandma. She is ready to go, she misses my grandpa horribly and is extremely lonely. So the family has been trying to spend as much time with her as possible, some, I think, are there too much since grandma tends to get irritated and crabby around them. Her and I had a great time together and she loves seeing Titan (our Great Dane). This week has been a full one. Hubby has been working a lot and I have started helping out with some spread sheet stuff for hubby's work so I have been busy with all of that.
My youngest is doing much better with potty training. He is almost done, still has an accident when he gets too busy doing other things but overall is turning out to not be as big a pain as I originally thought.
This weekend is also a full one. Had scrapbooking last night, a birthday party today, taking the kids to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the Megascreen tonite and another thing tomorrow. Speaking of that... gotta get going to the birthday party....

Things have been fairly good around here. Bev's dad was moved to another hospital as a last resort. He has a doctor that specializes in Heart Failure and has taken his case over. He was moved to the other hospital on Monday and has shown vast improvement. He is responsive, the swelling he had has gone away, his internal bleeding is stopped. The ventilator is not breathing for him, they are talking about taking it out soon, the balloon they still have in his heart is going to be taken out today. All in all he is doing so much better than they thought. There is no talk of when he can come home but its looking much better than the thought of his funeral. I have not been up to see him since they have moved him and need to make a trip soon.
The rest of life is still as busy as ever. I spent some time up at the hospital last weekend with Bev, and we had a lot of other things going on too. I had a pampered chef party with some friends of mine. Then Saturday night we had a business meeting of sorts with the people my hubby works with and a few of the others that work at the company. We had a really enjoyable evening and enjoyed the time away from the kids for a while. U also went to visit my grandma and took our puppy with me. My grandma adores our new puppy and loves any time that she can see him. So I take him with me every time I go over to visit her.
Our youngest is potty training, I have NEVER been through a WORSE experience. He does NOT care, AT ALL!!!! I have tried everything I can, candy, money, stickers, you name it, I have done it!!! He is doing fairly well now, he still has accidents but a lot less of them. He loves his big boy undies but really still is just a boy and DOES NOT CARE!! He only wears Pullups at night when he is in bed so we are hoping that he will be fully trained by the time I get my cousins baby. Which is just a few weeks from now...
My oldest son has been doing "jobs" around the neighborhood with a friend of his. They had a job of washing one of our neighbors cars, which he loved doing, the guy is a cameraman for one of our local TV news stations and my son thought that was the coolest. He also did a few others things and they called to say how good he did. *Proud mommy I am* :o) Just sucks that my sweet little boy is not so little and is doing all these other things. The older 2 have had a very full summer of lots of different things going on. Spending the night, having friends spend the night, going places and just having fun. Speaking of doing things...I am outta here :o)

Bev's dad is hanging in there. He was doing better last night but is still bleeding internally. I did not go up there last night to see him since Bev had a lot of her other friends up there with them. A lot of prayers are being said for him.
Other things are going fairly well. The kids rooms are coming along nicely. We have them pretty well fixed up and looking great. Our youngest is doing great in his new bed and loving it. Our new puppy went to the vet today and weighs 43 pounds now and a lot to go. Not bad for a 4 month old puppy. The kids are having a great summer with all their friends. Its like grand central station around here with all the kids in and out all the time. Of course mine are in and out of other houses just as much as they are here.
On another note.... I have started really enjoying wine. We did the winery thing a while ago and hubby and I have really been reading up on wines and all the differences. I am far from an expert but I am loving the trying out of different wines. I have found my favorite type of wines. My absolute favorite are Icewines. But they are very hard to come by and pretty damn expensive since they do not make many of them and some wineries do not even do it. They come in LITTLE bottles too. You get about half of what a regular bottle has. Innisklin is a good icewine. One that I have waiting is Jackson-Triggs Vidal Icewine. I have also had another one from one of the wineries around here that was excellent. They are dessert wines and just incredibly yummy. Another favorite is the Port wines. They are dessert wines also. They are served best cold and with a chocolate rimmed wine glass. I get a shipment of different wines from Blackstone Winery. They have excellent wines and I have really enjoyed them. My hubby, who does not drink, even enjoys a glass of wine with me once in a while. He loves learning about the wine and loves to bring me bottles home. I have over 30 bottles of all different types. Someday we will get around to enjoying them.

Once again life has thrown a monkey wrench into everyday life. One of my best friends dad had quadruple bypass surgery last week. I have known her, her parents, and her siblings all my life, literally. Well, he had the surgery last week and they were pretty positive about the whole thing. I get a call from Bev last night saying that they did not think that he would make it through the night. Which completely shocked me. Bev and I have talked just about every day about her dads progress, and though it was very slow he was slowly progressing, until last night. He has been bleeding internally and the ventilator is breathing for him now. His heart is so weak that he cannot handle breathing on his own or anything at this point. His platelet's (?) count is very low and they have been giving him plasma and blood constantly. He is also on 24 hour dialysis. They have him completely sedated so that he does not get excited in any way and they cannot go in and see how bad he is bleeding internally since his heart cannot handle it. They also have a Venus Doppler on him to see if there is any fear of aneurysm. One way or the other he is not going to survive this. Either the family has to make a decision or Fate will. He is in his early 60s and it is just devastating. I have known this man all my life. He used to tell on me when my parents were not home and I did things I was not supposed to. To know the man all my life and knowing that he is not going to make it is really devastating.
Bev does not handle hospitals well, its a miracle she has even been going up there. She has yet to go in to see him since he has gone downhill. I am hoping that I can convince her to go in tonite. I would hate for something to happen to him and her regreting it for the rest of her life. After she called me last night and told me I went up there to see them and stayed til about 2 a.m. I went in to see him and he does respond. As vague as his nodding and shaking of his head is he is alert and does know that we are there. He gently squeezes your hand if he can. He tries to respond how he can. If you are a praying person, I would greatly appreciate any prayer for the family. If not then I appreciate your well wishes.

Tonight is the Homerun derby and tomorrow night is the All star game. I love both of those and will be excited to see how it goes. The homerun derby is just fun to watch and of course the allstar game is awesome. Its neat to see the teams mingled and working together. There are 6 Cardinals that were voted into the allstar game, though it seems that Rolen has decided not to participate cuz of a shoulder that is giving him trouble. David Eckstein, Jim Edmonds, Albert Pujols, Chris Carpenter and Jason Isringhausen are the guys going. Chris Carpenter is the #1 pick as far as the pitchers go, it will be awesome to see the game. And I am pretty sure that Larussa is going to be the coach for this yrs NL. NL is going to stomp the AL into the ground :o) At least that is what I am hoping for!!!
It is FINALLY raining here, which is something that we really need, too bad its the remains of Hurricane Dennis. But I guess we will take it how we can get it. A couple of days of rain will be nice. It will give me a chance to completely clean up my house and get things organized. We have the kids moved around, the new bunk bed up for the boys and things are really coming together wonderfully. My mom is going to help me organize the kids playroom and get rid of a bunch of crap that they dont need. Which will be a huge help since she is really good at organizing things.

My baby boys birthday was wonderful. Friday we took him to Toys R Us to pick out what he wanted. He is a very hard child to shop for since we seem to have all the toys already. He loves balls, so he got 2 bouncy balls, a tricycle, set of golf clubs, a batman, bat car, rescue hero, batman bedding for his bed, spiderman mask and gloves, and a bunch of other stuff. Then on Saturday we got the rest of his birthday stuff taken care of and had his party at the park. It was a small party, but wonderful for the kids, they played on the play equipment,fed the ducks and had bbq. I will have to upload the pics. There was an error on the card for some reason and hubby spent half the night recovering the pics that I thought we had lost. My older daughter spent the night at our neighbors house, my neighbors hubby was out on a guys weekend so her and I sat around and drank the night away. Today we got the boys new beds, hubby has a meeting and then we are going out to my aunts house. That is the extent of our weekend.

In other news, a baby panda was born at the zoo in DC. You can go watch the cam, but the most special part is that the baby was born on my sons birthday. Which I think is just awesome!! HERE is the link to the webpage and the cam. OK, off to get stuff done!!

Since I will not be able to post this tomorrow I am going to do it today...

HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY BOY!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe that my son is going to be 3, my baby boy, 3 years old and growing up so quickly.

Well, hubby and I actually got a way for a few days, just me and him... I never thought it was going to be possible but it finally happened!!! Granted it was not some exotic or fantanstic place and hubby had to work, but we enjoyed it! We left Mid Wednesday and did not come home til Friday night. Hubby had a job to do in Wichita ( I told ya it was not exotic or fantastic) but it was just the 2 of us! We drove there and it was nice QUIET trip. we were not on a time frame on getting there so we took our time getting there and just enjoyed each other. Granted the sights are boring for the most part, but I enjoyed the tranquility of it all. Most ppl find the green grass for miles boring but I enjoyed the quiet country. It really was amazing to see all that land, no people and sooo many cows :o) Hubby had to work on Thursday so I hung out at the hotel, enjoyed a long hot bath with NO kids interupting or joining me, enjoyed my Harlan Coben book, which I managed to finish on the trip. Hubby and I went to lunch at this awesome Bistro in downtown Wichita. Then went to dinner at a sports bar that night, also downtown. Then we wandered around the square downtown (took about 30 minutes, including the shops) and went to see The War of the Worlds, which I surprisingly liked. But, there was something interesting about the theater. You could order food, drinks (including alchy) and they served you. Which I thought was awesome. It was no more expensive for the theater tickets either. That was the extent of our evening. I do have to admit that I really missed our kiddos though. Being that far away and for that long really got to me. The kids have spent the night with my parents before but I have always been close. Never a state away. Then on Friday morning I went with hunny to finish up his job he needed to do. Then we went to the Cosmosphere in Hutch, KS. It was really, really neat. Hubby went there the last time he was there but did not spend all that much time and did not have his camera. I will have to upload the pics we took. They have the Apollo 13 capsule they are getting the Liberty 7 capsule, Lovell's space suit and is just awesome. We spent a few hours there and just browsed around. It is a huge passion of my hubbies since working at NASA and he just LOVES all the space stuff. So it was awesome for just the 2 of us to be there without having to chase the kids around. Though it will be something we take the kids to. They will enjoy it too. Just strange that a lil town in Kansas has this awesome museum.
After the Cosmosphere we had a nice lunch and headed home. We took our time coming home. We had BBQ in a lil town my grandma used to live in, they have the BEST BBQ, I even eat it which does not happen often. We got back to town around 10 that night and got the kiddos. They had a great time with my parents and my brother.
Saturday we just spent the day together as a family. Did not do too much at all. Then on Sunday we went to our friend Robs and grilled, the kids played in the pool and then we met up with Robs family and watched the fireworks in St. Charles. We had a great time. Then on Monday we went to my Aunts house for a little while before going out to Scott and Lynettes. My aunts was nice, my cousins dad, step mom and baby came up from Alabama so we could see the baby. Which was nice of them. Marisa is now 14 mths old and a cutie despite who her mother is. Of course Michelle was there with her baby. Michael is back from Europe and was here with his girlfriend. It was nice to visit with family for a while. Then we went to Scott and Lynettes and grilled with them. Connie was in town from California since she was goin on a trip with Scott this week. We had lots of fireworks and had a wonderful time. Scott and Lynette had their little brother from Big Brothers Big Sisters there and the neighbors have 8 kids and there were lots of those kids back and forth throughout the day. That was the extent of our 4th... I hope that everyone else had a wonderful 4th and remembered those that are giving their time and lives to protect and keep us free...

Shelby Foote passed away :o( He was a Historian and novelist. He has awesome Civil War books. We have a lot of them since its a passion of my hubbys.
In other news... My cousin is fine. She had an ultrasound today. She is just passing blood clots and seems to be doing ok. Tired from the visit with her inlaws and sleep deprived by a new baby other than that doing fine.
Ok off to make dinner....

** Update**

My best friends cousin had the baby Saturday night. They had a little girl and named her Sierra. I am not sure of funeral arrangements or even if they are going to have one. Mom is doing ok, believably upset but handling things fairly well. My best friend is handling things well, under the circumstances.

We had a pretty good weekend. Friday night we went out as a family and went shopping and just spending time together. Hubby had an executive meeting Saturday so the kids and I stayed home and cleaned house. Hubby grilled a great dinner for us Saturday night and we all stayed in. The kids and I did a puzzle and hubby played a game. (boring I to most :o) ) Then on Sunday we went out. I have pictures from the day but am not going to post them. If you want to see them EMail me (queensnob@gmail.com) and I will Email you the link to see them. Most of the time I post them but this time I am not going to, due to certain circumstances. We have some awesome pics from the day though!! We had a great time Sunday and after our outing we went to Target to find a few present ideas for our youngest, who is going to be 3 in a couple of weeks :o( Then took the kids to McDonalds for dinner (oh, JOY)!! Oh and not to forget the most important part... went to the firework stands to get my hubby his array of fireworks that he has to have :o) 4th of July is my hubbies Christmas, its his favorite holiday and just makes him happier than happy to light off tons of fireworks.
We are spending the 4th with some friends of ours and with my parents. Lynette and I will be the drinkers so I am planning on jello shots and beam black and diet coke for my drink of choice and maybe some beer :o) (hubby will need beer bottles to shoot his bottle rockets out of!) And I think the 3rd hubby and I are going to go to Fair of St. Louis for the late night air show and the fireworks display and the Clydesdales that will be there finishing their tour. Whooohooooo date for hubby and I!!!! :o) Hubby hates crowds but I figure he will endure one night for a great fireworks display, the Clydesdales and the late night air show. :o)
That is our life in a nutshell... Other than one little thing that I find humerous from my youngest... he has learned the word NIPPLE and LOVES the word. He says it whenever he can and lots and lots of times. *sigh* Ok, off to start my Monday :o)

A lot has been going on this last week. A close friend of mines son had his 3rd surgery on his ear. It was successful and they are hoping that this will be his last one. My best friends cousin who was pregnant was in a car accident and lost her baby. She is still in the hospital with 4 broken ribs on her right side a couple broken ones on her left and having to deal with the loss of her baby. They want her to go into labor on her own since they fear putting her under and not getting her back, so shes going to have to go through labor to top it all off.
My cousin who had her baby 2 weeks ago ended up passing a clot the size of her fist and having to go to the hospital. She was still fully dialated and scared silly. She was losing lots of blood and the ER dr is not happy about what happened. He thinks she had leftover placenta and is worried about more being left and had her make an appt with her OB. Her and I talked about everything and I told her to be persistent, bitchy, and adement about getting her taken care of. She did and went to the doctor and her doctor was a complete bitch to her and told her that she does not know how it feels cuz this is her first baby. But after being insistent with her doctor she finally scheduled an ultrasound for her on Monday. She called me in tears saying what a bitch her doctor was and how ignorant she had treated her. If things dont go right I am sending her to my doctor who is awesome, sweet and does not treat you like an idiot.
On a brighter note... Janet Evanovichs new book came out. Eleven on Top. I read it in less than a day and absolutely loved it. She writes such awesome, fun, light stories. Lots of laughs, fun story and awesome characters you just have to love. I have started the Michael Connelly book Chasing the Dime. I am not sure about the book since I am not that far into it yet. But I am hoepful it will be good.

I hope that everyone had a great Fathers Day!!!!

We had a great Fathers day. I made a special dinner for hubby and I Saturday night. I actually grilled, which is something I do not do. Then on Saturday morning I made a huge breakfast and my dad and brother came over to enjoy it with us. Hubby got the Civilization game he has been wanting. We went to grandpas grave for a little bit then went to my grandparents to spend it with my whole family. We finally got to meet my cousins husband and he is absolutely awesome. I absolutely adore him. The baby is gorgeous and I adore her too. Only 2 of my cousins were not there Sunday, one is still in Europe and the other one had to work.
My grandma had gone through some of the stuff they have around the house and found a video of my grandpa. It was from his citizen of the year award he got in 97 or 98. It was wonderful to hear his voice again and heartbreaking at the same time. It was extremely emotional for me and you could tell it was for my grandma too. I am sure it was for others in the family too. It was very special to see and hear him on Fathers day.
I am in the process of uploading pics. I will add the link after I get all the pics up. Most of the pics are of the new baby and the kiddos.

Friday hubby and I got a chance to go out alone for a while. My mom watched the kids, hubby and I went to Chevy's for dinner and got the stuff done that we needed to get done for my girls weekend. My older daughter stayed with my mom and went to the Magic House and some other places on Saturday with my mom, one of her friends and my daughters friend Sabrina and spent the night with her friend Saturday night.
I left really really early Saturday morning. Bridget and Lauren came over to Kelly's and we left from there and met up with Lori, Tracy and Nicole and went to Clearwater Lake where Kelly's grandpa has a cabin. We met up with Kelly's mom, Suzy, Mary "ducky", Gissy, Jen and Jill at the cabin. Headed out to the boats and were out on the lake before 11. We went to a beach area where we spent our time and had a blast. I did not take my digital camera, I was afraid of dropping it in the lake, so I have to scan pics in from a disposable camera. We spent all day out on the lake, drinking, swimming, drinking, talking, drinking and just having a great time. We got back to the cabin around 6 and got cleaned up and went to town to go out to dinner. Had a good dinner at a little restraunt and got back to the cabin, made a fire and just chilled for the rest of the evening. Made some s'mores, drank some more and that was it. There were a total of 13 women there and we had a wonderful time. It was a perfectly relaxing weekend and we loved every minute of it. We got up fairly early Sunday morning. Got everything cleaned up, had breakfast and we were home by 11.
Something very interesting came of the weekend though... I had a friend from Junior High and High School that I have not talked to in a really long time, more than 10 years, someone that I have wanted to get in contact with but had no idea HOW I was going to be able to do it, and during our girls weekend I found out that her little sister was there at our girls weekend. She is Kelly's little brothers girlfriend. So I got my girlfriends phone # and Sunday night I talked to her for more than an hour! It is just so weird how Kelly and I are connected in so many ways. We know a lot of the same people but never really knew it. So that was my weekend. It was fun, relaxing and just plain perfect!!