Life is sort of back to normal. My cousin picked the baby up around 11 Thursday morning. I have to say I miss the baby a lot. I do not miss the middle of the night feedings but do miss the coo's, cuddles and smiles I always got out of the baby girl. I have talked to my cousin a few times since she has left and will have to start getting together with her more often so that I can spend time with her and the baby. We took a lot of pictures of Nayah while she was here and hubby decided that he was going to burn it to a DVD with songs and a slideshow for my cousin and her hubby. It turned out beautifully and my cousin cried. We made 2 copies so that she could mail one to her hubby in his next package. He is a lot like my hubby and loves computer and electronic stuff so I am sure he will love it :o) My kids and their lives are pretty much back to normal too. They are back in the swing of school and not whining as much. The younger 2 are getting along while the older 2 do lessons.
A friend of mine that works at Radica games got a promotion,Senior Designer, congrats to you hun!!! He has designed several games and has gotten several awards and nationally acclaimed for those games. HERE and HERE are a few examples of things he has done... He is a really awesome guy and I am so very happy for him :o) He has traveled to Japan that I know of to do the work that he does. Again, you are awesome, keep up the great work :o)
We had dinner with our friend Rob last night. His divorce is final and hes been tryin to get his life back on track. We went over to see him last night and spent time with him and his daughter and a couple of other of his friends. Tonite we are going to my parents for dinner and visit with them for a while.
My brother is playing football this year, which is awesome that he is finally going to do it. Hubby and I are going to see his football game against my old school. It should be good since both of the teams suck. :o) Now, who to root for, my brother and his team, or my old HS... It should be a lot of fun regardless. OK, that is enough for now, back to cleaning house and getting laundry done... If I only had a maid....

WOW, what a week... Things have been rather hectic the last couple of days. Not bad, just hectic. Getting my 2 older ones back into the swing of school, getting the baby to fit into this new schedule of school, getting my other younger children to leave the older 2 alone... and I homeschool WHY?? Just kidding, just getting back into the swing of things after a pretty relaxed summer tends to be a little harsh on the system for the kids and me. We are doing review stuff now. So its going quickly and with little complaint. We will get into new stuff soon. Of course my parents are still unhappy with our decision, but I have decided that while their input is unsolicited, I will listen like a daughter should, and then do what hubby and I have decided is best for our family anyways. :o) Nice thing about raising our children the way we see fit...
I only have 5 1/2 days left with the baby, and have to say I am sad having to think shes leaving, but know that her mommy cannot wait to hug and kiss her. She really misses her and is miserable in Kentucky. She is sick to top it all off. Luckily my aunt got out of the hospital today and plans to spend a part of the time with the baby tomorrow here at the house to help my hubby out while I get some much needed ME time. Hubby did manage to get some HIM time tonite, he went out with the guy he works with and is enjoying a movie and dinner with him. My oldest son is spending the weekend with my parents. Spending tonite and tomorrow with my dad and then going to spend Sunday with my mom. That should be good for him. He loves going to my parents store with him. My dad lets him make things and lets him play on the computer and takes him to lunch so its awesome one on one time with his grandpa. Then he loves going to church with my mom, she goes to an all Korean church and he loves the Sunday school teacher that is there, who happens to be American :o) How my son loves God... it really is awesome. I am very proud of my son and all my children, but to see how awesome my son is turning out, despite all my worries, and all the other things I have talked about, and how things COULD have turned out... ok, enough rambling..
My girlfriend, Darla, is scrapbookin with us tomorrow and may bring her daughter over to play with my daughters. Which will ease some of the pain on my poor hubby who is going to have his hands full with all these kids.
As for my best friend, things are looking up for her, her fertility specialist is really helping her and her hubby out. Hopefully they will be able to get pregnant and will be blessed with kids too. :o) She would make an awesome mom, she really would. We do not agree on everything, but of course she has yet to have kids of her own to experience and change how she feels once she has one of her own to deal with. Everything changes once you have your own.
One of our OTHER children, Titan, was taken back to the vet today for a checkup and hes now 70.5 lbs and GROWING. He really is an awesome dog and we have really enjoyed him. He is sooo sweet natured, takes the crap from the kids and just loves to be around them. He does what he can to be with them and just be around them. Ok, well, I am outtie, baby is up and wants to eat one more time...
OH, ONE MORE THING... CARDINALS ARE # 1 IN THE WHOLE LEAGUE!!! WHOHOOOOO With an awesome win against SF tonite, coming back from 4-0 in the bottom of the 8th and comin back to WIN it 5-4 in the bottom of the 9th... How I LOVE baseball :o) Edmonds YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! OK, NOW I am outtie.... Have a great weekend all!!!

Who ever thought adding a baby into the mix of my already chaotic life would take so much time??? OK, she really is an excellent baby and does a lot of sleeping, some eating, and a little bit other stuff. She is only up once a night which is between 3 and 4, which is not bad at all. She eats and falls right back to sleep til 6 or 7. So, overall that is awesome for a 2 mth old baby. I talk to my cousin every day, she is doing better. Tired of being around 180 men and women who stink of BO. She is also tired of having to be mean, which is totally not in her nature, but I guess being a Sergeant has its perks and downside. She is up at 3:30 in the morning and does not get off til about 8 at night and finally gets to bed around 11 after eating, showering and shining her boots. So that does not help how shes feeling. Just one week left. To top it all off, shes away from her baby, her hubby is in Iraq and her mom (my aunt) is in the hospital with pneumonia. So all she really wants is to be home.
Other things in our life, the kids started schooling on Monday, so that has added to whats going on around here. They are starting off at a good pace and the structure is sooo much better for them. We are just doing a couple of hours a day since the other kids start school today and they wanted to play the last few days that they could.
This weekend will hopefully be less eventful than last weekend. We lost electricity last Saturday and got it back on Sunday night, which is not bad compared to some of the area that still does not have electricity but it still sucked. We spent a majority of last weekend at my parents house. This weekend should be a lot less eventful. I am going scrapbooking on Saturday and hubby may go out with one of his friends on Friday night that is the extent of our plans.
I have decided that I am going to do a small scrapbook of pics of Nayah from the time that she has been here for my cousin. We have taken a lot of pictures of her since she has been here and have Emailed them to her and her hubby and I thought it would be fun to do a small album for her. So I will do that scrapbookin on Saturday. OK, off to help the kids...

FIRST AND FOREMOST... HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO MY ADORABLE BROTHER!!!


School starts in less than a week... THANK GOODNESS. Normally the house is like grand central station with so many people in and out. As of lately things have been a little more hectic with the kids in the neighborhood. Have I ever mentioned that I do NOT like other peoples children?? Well, most of them anyways. There are a few I would adopt as my own, but for the rest... they could go away forever and I would not feel any remorse. I know how horrible am I? Well, as far as I am concerned brats annoy me and I have to deal with my OWN brats, WHY would I want to deal with other ppls brats??? *sigh* Then to add some of their parents, truly some people are completely idiotic and just plain STUPID. They are completely naive to how their children act and treat others and only make excuses for that child. I at least KNOW my children are brats and have to deal with them and talk to them about the issues that they are having cuz my kids actually TALK to me and tell me what is going on. And other people have kids that tell them lies to get away with things and the parents believe them. Granted my kids lie, like ALL children, but I know when they are lying and get the truth out of them. Instead of being a dumbass and just taking my childs WORD FOR IT.
The children that I am talking about have caused many of problems and have pissed me off on several occassions to the point that I do not want my kids around these little assholes. I am not the only parent that feels this way about these children either. One parent will not let her kids play with them at all and another watches them like a hawk. I am to the point where I do not want my kids around them at all any more and may be the decision that I come to. I wish people would get more in tune with their children, learn about them, learn how they are. I know my children's strengths and weakness. I know when they are lying, I know when they are being mean and can openly talk to my kids. I can tell them when they are being wrong, I make my kids apologize to people if they have wronged them. They are not perfect by any means and kids will be kids, but the least I can do is mold them, train them, and pray that they know its for their own good and come out a stronger and better person for it. Not IGNORE when kids are being brats.
Every parent that has come into contact with my children has made comments as to how well behaved and polite they are. They are required to say Sir and Ma'am to adults and to say their pleases and thank you's... which is EXTREMELY uncommon these days, but something we require of our children and will not let up on. Even when we are out to eat people make comments of how well behaved and polite our children are. It is a great feeling to know that they are learning, even if it is a daily fight with them.
Ok, I am done with my rant. The baby has been wonderful. I am a little tired from not being used to getting up in the middle of the night, but she is a really easy baby. She is happy to be in her swing or to be where she can see people, which is EASILY accomplished in my house :o) She is also learning to put herself to sleep and that is something new to her since she is so used to being on her mommy. Which I still do too... Who can help but hold a baby and let her fall asleep on my chest?? :D Shes not mine, I can spoil her rotten... which is easy since shes already spoiled rotten. I talk to my cousin several times a day, things are going good, shes extremely tired. Shes up at 4 in the morning and not getting to bed til 11. So shes tired, and of course training new recruits is something new to her and to the recruits. Shes not much for being mean so shes out of her element when it comes to the new people. Of course she misses her baby and her hubby. Well, speakin of the baby, shes startin to fuss :o)

Here is a pic of my cousin's baby from last night after her bath. Having my cousins baby has been wonderful. She is a gorgeous baby and is absolutely great. She gets up once in the night and then sleeps til 7 or 8, which is fine since my kiddos and the hubby are up by then. My kids just love and adore her too. She loves to smile and play and be talked to. I could not ask for anything better. Of course my cousin misses her terribly and calls several times a day. Which is fine with me. I would be worried about her NOT calling :o) Unfortuntatly she does not get good reception where she is staying so she calls when she is on break to eat. Shes been getting up at 4:30 in the morning and working til about 7 at night so shes really tired when she calls. Well speaking of the princess, its time for her to eat!

Something that I forgot to mention yesterday... I was reading ESPN and came across something that is surprising, yet not... Wayne Gretzky is going to be the head coach for the Coyotes. Gretzky was with the Blues for a VERY short while and did not impress me in the least. I actually went to the first home game that Gretzky played in Saint Louis and he did not do squat for us so I am not a fan of him like so many others are. I cannot say he did much for our team period. I know there are many that love him and he may be one of the best. But I am not impressed. Anyways, congrats to the Coyotes for the coach they are getting. Hope that they have the best of luck. Well, not the best but luck. :o) I will always be a Blues fan even after their BS with not being able to come to an agreement on the salary thing and ruining a whole years worth of hockey.
Last night was the first pre season football game. We watched a part of it. I routed for the Bears, not that I really cared who won. It was just nice to watch football again :o) OK, off to finish getting ready before my cousin gets here.
* The Space Shuttle landed successfully in CA too. Its going to be there for about a week and will start to make the trip back to FL. Thank goodness they are all safe and it went smoothly.

Damn was I long winded yesterday. No more spilling my guts any time soon! But, I appreciate all the feed back that I got from people. Rich, I love the way you give it to me straight and no sugar coating things. You are right as always, and you know I listen to you :o) Same to everyone else that said pretty much the same thing Rich did. I guess I just wonder when the right time is, if there ever is one. Which there just does not seem to be. No matter when I tell my son, my ex will never be ready so I will just have to do it when I feel is right and pray to God that my son does not get hurt, like I know he will, knowing how my ex is. OK, done with that. I pretty well have it figured out and will go on.
Peter Jennings passed away. I cannot believe he died so quickly after retiring from the news. I knew that he had cancer, but never stayed up with him. My prayers and thoughts are with the family.
The space shuttle was supposed to land at 3 this morning and has not done so yet do to weather in FL. Hubby set the alarm to wake up to see it land and we watched NASA tv for a while to see what was going on in Mission Control but unfortunately nothing happened. Hubby stays up to date on all the NASA going ons. We still have a lot of friends that work at NASA, including Mission Control so we always hear what is going on with our old life. My hubby working at NASA was the neatest job my hubby has ever had. We love all our friends that are there. One friend worked the launch of the shuttle, we are not sure if she is working the landing but sure either way she is involved with everything going on.
Tomorrow is the big day. We get baby Nayah. I am sure that I will not be able to post as much because of it. She is dropping her off at 10 in the morning and then off to KY til the 26th. I am excited about having a baby in the house.

Well, hubby and I did not make it to see Dukes of Hazzard. We read quite a few reviews, not that I take those to heart but decided to take advantage of the tax free weekend and go shopping instead. Which of course is A LOT more expensive than goin to see a movie, good or bad... We went to a really nice wine shop in Kirkwood and then went to look at other wine racks since we have outgrown the one that we have. We found a couple that we really liked and that would look good with our kitchen and the other wine rack we already have. Plus, you can LOCK it, not that I have to worry about my children getting into them, but thought that it was a good idea. We also went out to dinner, which is always nice. We shared a strawberry kiwi frozen margarita that was yummy. And of course to top our night off we had to go to Wal-Mart since we were down to 1 roll of toilet paper and I tend to panic with 4 kids!!
Saturday we went shopping again. This time buying all the kids new shoes and clothes. 4 kids and $500 later, NOT bad... (YEAH RIGHT!!!) And that was just a few things for each of the children, and only 1 pair of shoes for each! *SIGH* Dang kids, soo dang expensive :o) Then hubby and our oldest son met up with Scott and Sammy for a night at the movies and some games. They saw War of the Worlds, which hubby has seen already but the rest had not and the boys really wanted to see it. The boys did a flight simulator that they said was really awesome and played air hockey and other fun games while they waited for the movie. They had a great time and it was awesome for both hubby and our son to get some one on one time that does not happen often.
With that being said, I have to say I am one of the luckiest women ever, how many men take on a child that is not his own and treat him as equally to his own children? We have 3 other beautiful children together, but you would never know that my oldest is not his with the way they act. They love and adore each other with all their hearts. It is a true father/son relationship that I could not have ever dreamed of. My hubby even helped coach my sons tball team...Their are times that I think of my sons biological father being in my son's life, but truly, I do not think that it is a good idea. Even my sons biological father could not treat my son as well as my husband does and I am so very thankful for that. My husband has been in mine and my sons life since he was just a few months old, and 10 years later its the best thing that could have happened to us both. Of course there have been rough times and times that my son does things that are just like his biological father that I would just LOVE to pluck out of my sons DNA, but there are lots of my husbands charateristics that I have seen my son pick up on that I just smile at. A girlfriend and I share a lot of things in common, she is remarried has a daughter by a previous relationship, the difference is her daughter sees her dad, gets child support from her dad, where as mine has only met him twice in his 10 years of life and I have NEVER recieved a penny of support from my sons biodad. We have talked several times about our situations and the thought of telling my son about his dad, it breaks my heart that one day I will have to reveal that truth to him and hope to hell that he is not devestated by it. I know that he will be, but the question is WHEN do I tell my precious child that the man he loves, adores and has always looked up to is not really his biological father, that he has another one that has not given a shit about him since before he was born is out there???? That his biological father has 2 other children by two other women and is currently married to his third wife??? Hell who knows what the number of wives or children will be by the time I get around to telling my son about this guy. I have rarely spoken ill of the man that I had my first child with, we were each others first love and that cannot be changed. And of course have not spoken illy of him to my son since he does not know him, nor would I, my son will know what his biofather is like and make his own opinion of him on his own, without my feelings being involved. I will not lie to my son about what happened but I will not put all the blame on my ex either. He has not shown any interest in getting to know my son and that is his loss and my gain. As far as the last 10 years have gone, my ex has had the opportunity to make amends and has chosen not to. I have always told him that I would not do that if he decided to be a part of my sons life, what he has chosen has been on him and not me trying to keep my son away at all. He has always known how to get a hold of me, my parents have been in the same house for the last 28 years with the same phone # that whole time. I have also stayed in touch with his grandparents and they have always known how to get a hold of me also. My sons bio grandparents have seen my son quite a few times. Especially as a baby. I took my son to see them, with my best friend at my side, I took my son to the hospital when his great grandpa was in the hospital. Over the years its been fewer and far between visits, but I do make the attempt to do so. I even have pictures of my son with his great grandparents. To me there is something special there, they deserve to see their great grandson and I will not deny them that. Its not their fault as to what happened between my ex and I and I will not use my son as a pawn against them. That would not be fair to them or to my son. They know how their grandson is, and know that he has denied that my son is his, though his grandmother knows better, they know that he is their great grandson and know that their grandson is the father of my child. They have been very honorable and I have to respect them for that.
I have never hidden or ran from my ex or been mean to him to make him think that he could not get to know his son. I have also known how to stay in touch with him in case anything were to ever come up, we have managed to not hold any contempt for one another though I have lots of reasons to do so. I do not find it beneficial and know that everything happens for a reason and I would not be where I am without everything that has happened, including having an awesome husband and 3 other beautiful children with him. His psycho mother broke us up for her benefit and I was the one left with the consequences for the rest of my life. I do not regret having or keeping my son. He is my life, along with his siblings and my husband. I just cannot help but think to the future and what it holds for my child. I have spoken to his biodad about the whens and hows and ifs of the situation and he knows that it is my decision, like all others when it concerns my son. I have stayed in touch with my exs grandparents over the years. They love my son and I and always have. We talk when we can and I have always loved and adored them and think that they are wonderful people. They have always accepted that my son was their first great grandchild and regret what happened in the situation and hate that they do not see him often. I have taken my son over to see them. Of course he does not know that they are his great grandparents and they respect the fact that I do not want to tell him cuz that would mean telling him about my ex and that is just not what I want to do yet. But it is so hard to know that my son has other family that he does not know. Granted his biograndparents on my exs side dont care, but that is their loss. Plus, they are people that I do not want around my son. I will not ever forgive them for what they did to me. The dad hated me from the beginning cuz I am not WHITE, and his mother is just plain psycho, including calling the hospital while I was in labor with my son threatening to steal him and put him up for adoption herself. She called so many times that I had to be UNregistered at the hospital and had lots of people watching out for me and my son because of the horrible situation. She even called my parents house in the middle of the night threatening things. Luckily I have great parents, they did not want me to keep my son when they found out I was pregnant and kicked me out, but after everything and working through it all they love their grandson so very much and have been wonderful parents and grandparents since. My son is 10, and a very mature 10 at that, he has a great head on his shoulders and I adore him. But, I know that the time is coming, I know that one day my son will know the truth and there is nothing I can do to protect him from that. Then of course there is the fact of will my son want to know and meet his biofather. What if my son wants to get to know the man that he has never known? I can pretty much tell that it would be disasterous. My ex is full of bad choices and plenty of baggage and dealing with a son, an ex wife, an ex wife that tried killing his other son, and a current wife that is a bitch, a new baby and a child that the newest wife has. So he has 3 kids already and my son has no place in his life. NOT that I want for my son to have a place in his life with all the shit that he has done. Granted I have not been perfect, but I have maintained a steady life for my son. Not a lot of men have been in and out of my life and my son has always just known my husband. Granted when I first had my son I did lots of dating and lots of partying, but that is all done and over with and my son never knew of any of that. Where as my exs second child has dealt with his dad coming and going in his life, has dealt with a couple of different step mommies and now a new baby. I do not want that chaos for my son. That is a therapy bill I wish to avoid. WOW, I have gone on and on about my life in a way I do not normally do. Knowing that my sons biodads ex wife still reads this blog, I tend to leave things pretty vague. Oh, well. Her and I used to be friends and its nothing new to her. Sucks that she has had to endure dealing with her sons hurt feelings by the guy, that is one thing I have to say I am thankful for, my son has not been hurt by the guy and I like it that way. Granted my son has a half brother that he has seen and has been a part of ( not anymore) and another half brother that he has never been a part of but some day they could get to know one another. My son is happy with the siblings he has and he loves his sisters and brother. Plus, its the constant that he knows and he does not know any different.
Oh well, time will tell and I am sure that some day I will muster up the courage to talk to him about it. My parents and I have talked about it, they do not like the idea of me telling my son since all he has ever known was my husband. But I would hate for my son to find out from someone other than me. It is something that my hubby and I want and need to do, nothing that anyone else needs to tell my son. My whole family obviously knows and so do most of my friends. They have all been good about it and know that it is my decision. They have all been supportive and know that when the time is right that I will tell him. They all differ on their opionions on WHEN I should tell him, but all respect the decisions hubby and I have made up to this point. Now, to just figure out when... I guess one thing that has made me think about it all is his bio great grandparents that he does not know. They are old and hate that they do not know their oldest great grandson. Though they understand my choice and support me in it and have even told me that my son is better off with me and my hubby. They know that my son is loved and taken care of. My son has/had an outstanding relationship with my grandparents, his great grandparents, and I hate that he does not know such wonderful people as his other great grandparents are. My husbands side of the family has also treated my son as one of their own and I am so very thankful for that. My son has known 5 great grandparents ( 7 unknowingly) and has already lost 3 of the 5 that he knows. I want him to know his other great grandparents but how is that possible without him knowing about his biodad also?? OK, I think that does it for me :o) I have spilled my guts enough for one day and think I need to get back to life and living it now. A lot has to be done to prepare for my cousins baby. I need to get some rearranging done so that I can make her a part of our normal life. Hope that everyones weekend has been a great one!!!
Ohhhh, a couple of last notes, to you know who... I think that it is wonderful what has been happening with you and I am very excited about it all. I think that it is a positive change and something that I think will be awesome in the long run!!! You are a wonderful person and I love your enthusiasm. My hubby is also very excited and adores you also :o)
Ok, and to Rob, we love you!!!!! You are a wonderful person and we are so happy that you are a friend of ours. Things will get better, keep your head up and you will make it through everything just fine. You are a stronger person through all this and you will make it out with your pride and your heart will heal. Everything has its purpose and this will only lead to bigger and better things for you!! Hope you are having a blast in FL with yelly. We love you very much and will see you when you get back!!!!
Holy hell I have been long winded... enough is enough... I am OUTTIE!!!

Hubby and I are actually going out tonite, just the 2 of us. We do tend to get "dates" a little more than some people, but I love our nights out. It is nice to just be us and to be able to think of us and not worry about what the kids are doing. We are going to go out to dinner and then going to see Dukes of Hazard.
In the spare time I have (haha) I have joined a canasta league with a bunch of friends online. It was just started by some friends that I play canasta with on a regular basis. Its nice to play canasta in lots of different ways that are available. Since the people that started the game are in Texas its called the OUTLAWS. We have managed to recruit about 40 people for the league so far and it keeps growing.

The movie Must Love Dogs was a cute chick flick. There were 5 of us girls (Lynette, Kris, Nikki, Kelly and I) that went out so it was a perfect movie for us. We went to Red Robin for dinner and then to Ben and Jerry's for dessert and off to the movie. Dinner was great and Ben and Jerry's was awesome. The movie had some funny parts and was slow in some parts. I would not rate it as one of my favorites more like average. It was just awesome to be out with the girls and have fun with them. I think our next girl's outing will have to be pedicures or something really girly. :o) I have to admit its kinda niceto be a girl once in a while and its been a while since I have had a pedicure and they are so relaxing.
Well, I get my cousins baby in 5 days. I have been talkin to her quite a bit and we are getting things worked out. She is going to KY to train new recruits ( Originally I thought it was for Sergeant school, but that has not come up yet) They called her yesterday and wanted her to leave yesterday and want her to stay til OCTOBER. Of course she told them there was no way to do that. I cannot believe what they are expecting. Her husband is in Iraq doing his job and so she is basically a single parents, now they want her to leave her baby for 3 months and go to KY to train people. She is already going to be gone for 2 1/2 weeks. Hopefully she can get out of it and work it so that she does not have to do that.
Bev's dad is doing much better. They put a Trach(?) in yesterday and took out his ventilator. He is responsive and they are going to try and sit him up today. He is slowly improving, which is such awesome news since the last 3 weeks have been so back and forth. According to doctor's he was going to die 3 times. So we are just praying that he will just better and better!