It has been a really hard couple of weeks. My grandma has gone to heaven to be with her beloved husband. On Novemeber 11th I went up to see her at hospice house and it was just the 2 of us. We had a great conversation and I enjoyed the time with her. We all went up there as a family on Sunday to be with her and she took a major turn for the worst. It was the day my dad and I both told her it was ok to go and we would eventually be ok. My dad and I sat on either side of my grandma's bed and told her it was ok to let go and to be with grandpa again. Thinking it was the release she had needed since my dad had yet to tell her it was ok to let go. She was still awake at that point and after my dad and I had that talk with her she peacefully went to sleep and held on for another 7 days never to wake again. It was the hardest thing in the world for my dad and I to tell her it was ok to go. The selfish part of me wanted to tell her NO she could NOT go, that I needed her! It was also the hardest thing in the world my dad had to do. Before she went to sleep on Sunday she told me to stay with her so I spent the night with her from Sunday til Wednesday. Only leaving to come home and shower and get clean clothes. The doctor came in on Monday morning and told us she had 24-36 hours at most. She held on all day Monday and was kept comfortable and was on Morphine for the pain. Then on Tuesday the doctor came in and said he was surprised that she was still here and did not expect her to make it through the day. Family was called and everyone was up there with her. Both my aunt's also stayed the night up at the Hospice house also. During the time that we were there my grandma was never left alone. There was always someone there with her.
Then on Wednesday, the doctor was again surprised that she was still hanging in there. She had no food or water since Sunday and he was sure it was going to be anytime. Wednesday was also the day that her apnea was really bad and she was breathing about every 30 seconds and the nurse had us all come in and say good-bye sure that she was to go at any time. We did this for 3 more days. Finally on Saturday one of the nurses talked to us and said that she may need time alone, that she may just want to finish working out the business she has to work out internally and be left alone, and that sometimes people do not want to die in front of anyone. So we all agreed to give her some alone time with just the nurses going in to check on her. No one was supposed to stay the night up there with her and MOST of us left. We did end up with a few issues. My one aunt, decided that she could not do it and took up residence in my grandma's room again, even after our agreement, which really upset the rest of us. We all wanted to be by grandma's side but figured that we were being selfish and that maybe that being alone was exactly what grandma needed. The rest of the family went home and my one aunt, her stupid husband and one of my cousin's stayed up there. We did say that they were NOT to stay in the room with grandma and they slept out in the lobby. That night was her last. She took one final breath about 6:30 Sunday morning and never took another. She died peacefully Saturday, November 18th.
Monday was her visitation at the funeral home. I was quite numb by this point and really managed to hang on fairly well. There were a lot of people that came to visit and to offer their condolences. Tuesday was the funeral and then on Wednesday there was a private family burial at the cemetary. Since it was at a National Cemetary they did not do grave side services and after the burial ceremony we went to see grandpa. They had dug the hole for grandma already. They bury them on top of one another and so we could see grandpa's casket under the silicon layer. While we were visiting grandpa they brought grandma and we saw them put her in the ground and close the vault. It was a finalization I could almost not bare. But, I do know that she is happy. She is with her beloved husband and no longer in pain.
Since all that stuff was going on with grandma our Thanksigiving was pulled off but with a lot of last minute preps. My hubby fried 2 turkey's and the rest of the family chipped in on getting the rest of the stuff done. We decided to do it at grandma and grandpa's one last time. My mom and I did the shopping on Wednesday after the burial to get all that we needed to go with the Turkey's and then on Thursday we were there cooking for several hours. It was a sad Thanksgiving without my grandparents, but I could not help but think of them together happy as could be.
I have a lot more to say, just cannot do it at the moment. I have a lot of stuff that has to be done and really ought to get started! I will continue more in depth stuff later!